


Civilian

by thepiedsniper



Category: Naruto
Genre: Disguise, F/M, Medical Trauma, Romance, Secret Identity, kakasaku - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 12:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13636401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepiedsniper/pseuds/thepiedsniper
Summary: Sometimes, Sakura wishes she weren't a ninja. But disguising herself as a civilian doesn't prove easy, and all too soon she finds her worlds colliding. Kakasaku





	1. Prologue

They carried him through the woods on a stretcher, as she straddled his chest and covered his eye with two glowing hands. She was so absorbed in her task that she barely spoke, except occasionally to criticise the stretcher-bearers' unsteadiness over the rough terrain. The circumstances weren't ideal for such a complicated procedure as the one she was currently performing, but as they were still several miles from Konoha they had been forced to make do. The eye was one of the few left of its kind, and it was in danger.

"Can't you just take it out of him?" one young ninja had asked. "No sharingan is worth the pain he's going through."

The pink-haired medic hadn't even looked up. "If I thought he could live without this eye, it would already be gone. But I'm sure that even if I removed the damn thing to save his life, Hatake Kakashi would never forgive me. So instead I have to just sit here and be brilliant as I try to stop it from killing him." A drop of sweat rolled down the tip of her nose and fell onto her patient's chest, leaving a dark spot on his shirt.

Haruno Sakura was tired and uncomfortable and out of her depth, but as she probed deeper into the nerves and vessels surrounding her ex-sensei's eye, she knew she had to be more controlled than ever. There was already so much chakra flowing in and around the sharingan that adding her own could easily do more harm than good if she wasn't careful.

The semi-conscious jounin's body suddenly convulsed with pain, almost toppling Sakura off her precarious perch. She swore under her breath, trying to recover the loose threads of chakra trailing from her patient.  _Only one chance,_ she thought to herself for the hundredth time.  _Only one chance to save them both._ Feeling around with her chakra, she was able to get a clearer picture of the curious eye. A normal eye needed very little chakra, and as such most people only had one chakra vessel per eye. But those ninja with an optical bloodline limit such as Uchihas and Hyuugas had a secondary chakra vessel that ran along the optic nerve. This helped to regulate the flow and prevent overloading.

Sakura had read about the dōjutsu kekkei genkai from a fifty year-old medical journal. In the same chapter was a handwritten footnote, just a few sentences outlining a newer case in which a sharingan eye had been successfully transplanted into a person outside the bloodline; and hence lacking the extra chakra vessel. Basically, it was like having opposite lanes of traffic on a one-way street. There was a greater strain on the existing outlet, leaving the eye constantly activated and at greater risk of injury due to overuse. She recognised Tsunade's handwriting and Kakashi's unique circumstances, and had burned the information into her memory just in case.

Unfortunately, the time had come for her to use what she had learned. Her chakra had reached the overexerted vessel, and she could feel how much trauma it had experienced as a result of the recent battle. Kakashi's chakra was flooding to the eye, and very little could flow back out against the current. The resulting pressure was the cause of his agony, and if it continued to build then the sudden release of so much raw energy could prove fatal. Carefully, she sent out the tiniest amount of her own chakra into the vessel, moving against the current. If she gradually redirected the flow, she could safely drain the excess chakra from the sharingan without damaging the entire circulatory system. Blessing the gods for her natural control, she pushed a little harder.

Then something happened. Perhaps someone carrying the stretcher had stumbled, or perhaps Kakashi had shifted slightly beneath her. Whatever the reason, Sakura's focus slipped. It was only the briefest of moments, but it was enough for her thread of chakra to weaken. Instead of pushing back Kakashi's chakra, it got caught up in the flow and flushed back into the sharingan. Trying not to panic, the medic strengthened her tie on the thread and dragged it back out along the vessel.

Almost at once she felt the difference. Just as the copy nin's chakra felt different immediately after being filtered through the sharingan, so too did hers. It was like it had been dipped in the pool of trapped memories inside the eye, soaking up their essence. There were no concrete images, just an overwhelming feeling of horror and a dizzying tincture of bloodlust. She cried out in shock and nearly severed Kakashi's optic nerve with her chakra scalpel. Ignoring the others' concerned questions, she examined the little she could see of Kakashi's face. He did not appear to have been affected. If anything, his condition seemed slightly improved. His breathing was no longer ragged and his heartbeat was slowing back down to its normal pace.

She smoothed the hair back from his clammy forehead and tried to muster the courage to examine his eye once more. Konoha couldn't be much further away. Once they arrived, there would be Tsunade and a whole team of medics more experienced than she to help him. If he could hold on for a little while longer, she wouldn't have to risk feeling like that again. But even as the thought to do nothing entered her mind she dismissed it. If she didn't make sure Kakashi was really okay and something happened to him later, she would never forgive herself. Closing her eyes and mustering her last reserves, she swept her chakra over his sharingan, entering the vessel further down from the opening. The current seemed to be stabilising, moving away from the eye. Withdrawing her own chakra must have been enough to reverse the flow of his.

"Um, miss Haruno?" the same young ninja began tentatively. "Your nose is bleeding."

He watched the medic draw her gloved hand impatiently across her face before collapsing gently forward. For a brief moment he assumed she had fainted at the sight of her own blood, but a quick examination from one of the stretcher-bearers revealed that exhaustion was the culprit. After five hours of treating wounded ninja and one particularly tricky sharingan, she was finally free to rest. The copy nin did not seem to be in any immediate danger or discomfort, so they saw no point in waking or moving her. She didn't make much difference to the load they carried; and even if she did, it was thanks to her that most of them were able to walk at all. The young ninja thought the woman would look more peaceful in sleep than she did in the field. But when he snuck a furtive look through the rosy strands of hair covering her face, she seemed more troubled than ever.


	2. Wake Up

Waves of boiling red sea were crashing over him, the foam stinging his eyes and filling his mouth and nose with water. He struggled against the tide with all his strength, but his strength was ebbing and he soon found himself being pulled further and further from the shore. Each cry for help was quickly stifled by the water rushing to his lungs, and soon he gave up on breathing altogether. He tried to remember why he was stranded in this red ocean, but his memories were sluggish and took a long time to surface. There had been a battle. With the acceptance of this simple fact came the realisation that the water surrounding and filling him was not cool and peaceful, but hot and cloying. It was blood that he sank through, an ocean of scarlet blood.

He clamped down on the urge to panic, instead forcing his hazy mind to realise the impossibility of his situation. He must be caught in somebody's genjutsu, for oceans of blood were not part of his world. Instead, he forced himself to think on the things that were. They started simple; his mask, his country. And they finished with the people he knew and fought alongside. Surely one of them would be coming to break him free of this illusory prison soon? Thin, white-hot threads of agony were shooting thought his optic nerve and the pain was becoming unbearable. There was a building pressure in his chest, as though the blood were forcing its way down his throat. He couldn't breathe, his thoughts were little more than white noise, and his eye was definitely on fire. He could feel the surrounding flesh melting away from it like candle wax from the wick.

He had forgotten that help was supposed to be coming. He had forgotten the relatively peaceful life beyond this torture. He had forgotten his own name.

" _Kakashi."_

With a jolt, Kakashi was flung back into consciousness. Suddenly he was able to feel the coarse, heavy sheets someone had placed over him, and smell the horrible scent of antiseptic and misery. He could hear far-off voices and the occasional beep of an instrument. It was clear that he was in a hospital of some sort; but he couldn't tell where. The last thing he could force himself to remember was fighting back a surge of rogue ninja bent on destroying one of the Fire Country's smaller villages. Was that where he was now? What about his team? Were they hospitalised too, or worse? The need to confirm his situation grew too much and he sat up, opening his eyes.

At least he tried to.

His eyelids didn't seem to be responding, and the harder he tried to wrench them apart, the more they stung. The blackness persisted and he lifted a heavy hand to feel his face. The entire top half was wrapped in thick, gauzy bandages. It explained why his eyes wouldn't open, but left him unsure what he would see if he could. Was he blind? Had he lost the sharingan? The very thought of losing something so precious, the last lifeline to his old teammates, sliced into his shock like a kunai. He could feel himself thrashing, hear the trill of an alarm as the drone of voices grew closer. He had to get the bandages off and test his eyesight. Then he had to get away from this place as quickly as his strength would allow.

Part of him, the controlled, professional part of him, tried to calm his terror and make him see reason. But if this blindness were permanent, there would be little need for professionalism. For most ninja, such an injury meant instant retirement. For Kakashi, that would be akin to a death sentence. He tugged at the bandages, trying to find a loose end to unravel. But his hands were clumsy and he seemed to be doing more harm than good. He snarled in a mixture of pain and frustration, groping around blindly for something sharp to aid him.

A hand closed over his, and his instinctive reaction was to strike out at the unseen danger. There was a sharp cry as his free hand made contact with the stranger's jaw. But instead of letting go the person increased their grip, forcing Kakashi back down on the bed.

"Tsunade's on her way," someone said over the top of the machines. He wasn't sure if they were talking to him or not, but at the mention of the Hokage's name his terror abated slightly. He must have made it back to Konoha then, which meant he was among allies. After a moment Kakashi could hear the signature click of heeled feet and the hand holding his slid away.

"Hatake Kakashi," In response to the Hokage's booming voice, the jounin went still.

"You're in Konoha, and you're perfectly safe," she reassured him, and he inclined his head slightly to show that he understood.

"Your squad was assisting the Brick Village when it was ambushed by an additional squad of rogue-nin. Though you overpowered them eventually, some of you sustained injuries. You, in particular, are lucky to be alive."

"And the Sharingan?" Kakashi pressed, annoyed at how slowly Tsunade was getting to the point. "What's wrong with my eyes?"

"You overused your Sharingan to the point of damaging your chakra vessel and surrounding optic nerve. The team medic was able to reverse most of the damage on the way back to Konoha, but mostly it needs rest and time to heal."

"But it  _will_ heal?"

Tsunade paused for a moment, and Kakashi bit his lip in frustration. Finally she answered him. "The Sharingan is intact, but still very weak. If it had continued to build pressure on your chakra vessel, it might have killed you. At the very least you would have permanently destroyed your optic nerves and lost your sight completely. Luckily, you were in good hands." Kakashi heard someone's feet shift slightly near the side of his bed.

"I'm telling you all this  _now_  because I want you to properly understand the delicacy of your situation before we remove the bandages." At this, Kakashi's head snapped up eagerly.

"You mean I can take the bandages off straightaway? Will I be able to see?" He slid forward eagerly.

"Hey! I told you all that so you'd take it easy!" Kakashi didn't need his vision to know that Tsunade was pissed-off, and he tried to look apologetic. "Sorry Hokage-sama. I promise to take it easy, just as soon as I have these bandages off."

A few minutes later and the pressure around his head had subsided greatly. There was still a great deal of gauze packed around his left eye, but his normal one was free at last. Slowly, he tested his vision. The curtains had been drawn and the lights switched off, yet it still felt like staring at the sun. Everything was blurry and over-bright, but it was improving every second. Finally one yellow-and-green shape became discernible as the Hokage, who seemed to be watching him intently. Then she grinned, and the other blurry figures sighed in apparent relief.

"Thank you," Kakashi told her, equally relieved.

"Oh don't thank  _me_ ," she told him, waving her hand dismissively, "Without your field medic you'd be dead long before you reached me." She nodded to someone on Kakashi's right, who stepped very slightly closer. The person was mostly just a pale cream blur like the rest of the hospital, but he recognised the shock of pink hair easily enough.

"Sakura," he acknowledged. The pink blur twitched.

"Correct. She saved your life out there, and risked her own to do it. Funny way to repay her," she added, "giving her a black eye."

"What?" Kakashi yelped at the absurd accusation. "I never-"

"It was when you first woke up, Kakashi-sensei," the pink-haired girl stepped forward now, explaining hurriedly. "You were disoriented and panicked. You didn't know who I was. It wasn't your fault, it was mine," she placed a hand on his arm, and the familiar gesture triggered a flash of realisation.

"Oh kami, I hit someone before, didn't I? I hit- I hit  _you_ , Sakura."

Tsunade huffed. "Finally the penny drops. Now, do you think you're going to be able to control these violent urges, or do I have to find you a private room?"

Kakashi glanced to his side, but of course the other hospital bed was just a distant smudge of cream and silver. "Who's in here with me?"

Tsunade placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder, who looked decidedly sheepish. "This idiot, who broke practically every rule as a medic trying to save your sorry ass."


	3. Get Well Soon

Ino knocked softly on the hospital room door. After a quiet "come in," she nudged it open and stepped through. Sunlight filtered through the crisp white curtains and warmed the otherwise pale face of her best friend. She was sitting up in bed, reading a well-thumbed novel and looking bored out of her mind. When she saw Ino Sakura grinned and threw the book down among a large pile of 'Get Well Soon' cards, but the blonde medic couldn't return the smile until she had ascertained the damage for herself. Dropping a bouquet of purple and pink flowers on the patient's lap, she flicked through the file hanging from the end of her bed.

"Severe exhaustion, dehydration, muscular fatigue,  _near-fatal_  chakra depletion," she read aloud as Sakura admired the flowers and tried not to look too guilty. "Haruno, you idiot."

"It's not like I did it on purpose," Sakura defended, "I just didn't have as much chakra as I thought I did."

Ino huffed. "You have the best chakra control of anyone our age, as you love to remind me. You always know  _exactly_ how much you have, and how much you're using." She took the blooms back from her, arranging them in the water jug with expert care. "That's why Tsunade-shishou is so mad at you; because you broke the medic's code by risking your own life."

"How do you know Shishou's mad at me?" Sakura frowned, "I thought you only just got back from the Hidden Rain?"

"Sakura, I don't need to be a medic to spot the recent bruise on your cheek," she tapped the same area on her own face. "She usually puts off hitting us until we're out of the hospital."

"Oh this?" Sakura's hand flew up self-consciously to cover the purplish smudge. "No, this wasn't the Hokage. It was… an accident." She glanced at the opposite bed, where its occupant lay sleeping.

Ino followed her gaze. She hadn't paid much attention the other patient in the room. The part of his face that wasn't covered in bandages was obscured by the top of his blanket. But she recognised the silvery mop of hair well enough, and she gave a low whistle.

"Is that Kakashi-sensei? He looks terrible." His normally flawless physique was showing the signs of injury and inaction, and there were deep bags under his one good eye. Also, where Sakura could have opened her own greeting card business with the amount of coloured paper on her bedside table, Kakashi's was bare but for a hastily-drawn frog on what looked like an old Ichiraku ramen menu. Ino didn't need to read the inside to know who it was from.

A thought occurred to her. "Hey, he's the teammate you nearly killed yourself over, isn't he?" She turned her pale eyes on Sakura, who blushed.

"Don't say it like that," she protested, "I've already gotten the lecture from Shishou. He was on the brink of death himself, and if you remember I think you'll find that rule  _one_ of the medic's code is that we don't give up on a teammate as long as there's still breath in our body!"

The silence that followed this outburst was punctured by a rustle from the opposite bed and the girls froze; but Kakashi simply rolled over and lay still once more. Exhaling, Sakura turned back to Ino. "Hey, you want to get out of here? The usual place is probably empty at the moment."

As the door closed on the sterile room, Kakashi's eye opened and narrowed. He would have to remember to ask Tsunade about the medic's code.

A slightly chilly breeze rolled over the hospital roof, and the girls tightened their blankets around them. They had stripped Sakura's bed of its linen and set up a makeshift picnic with the remains of her lunch. Ino munched meditatively on a bag of apple slices while Sakura pulled the lid off a pudding cup.

"So where were we?" she said, picking up her spoon, "I think I was yelling at you for criticising my judgement?"

Ino snorted. "That sounds about right. Though in my defence, I wasn't really criticising. I can't say I wouldn't have done the exact same thing in your place. Kami knows I tried to."

Sakura glanced up at her friend. "You did everything you could for Asuma-sensei," she told her quietly.

The blonde smiled sadly. "I know. We were way too young and he was way too badly injured. I've come to terms with that since then." She dipped an apple slice in Sakura's pudding, ignoring her friend's repulsed look. "That's why I'm glad you could save Kakashi-sensei. It shows we've grown up, all of us. We're old enough to protect the things we care about now."

The pink-haired girl chewed her lip, trying to organise the stream of thoughts in her head. "Then why don't I feel any older than I was in Team Seven? Why do I feel so terrified, even when I know Kakashi's okay? I worry about him, and I worry about Naruto too. He's getting to be so strong and he's starting to attract a lot of unwanted attention because of it. I promised myself I'd protect him, but what can I do against people like Pein and Madara? I was powerless against them. And I worry about Sai of course, because Sai doesn't seem to worry about himself. I have no idea what he must be going through right now with everything, but I can only ever guess at how he feels. And I worry about- I  _still_ worry about…"

She buried her face in her hands. She wasn't ashamed to cry in front of Ino, but she didn't like doing it either.

Ino wrapped her arm around her friend. "Apple slice?" she offered, and was rewarded with a small smile.

"I'm sorry," Sakura groaned, "I just don't know what's happening to me lately. Ever since I fixed the sharingan, I've been feeling terrible. I can hardly sleep, and even when I do I get woken up by Kakashi."

"Kakashi?" Ino frowned.

Sakura nodded. "He's started talking in his sleep. A lot of it doesn't make sense, but every now and then he'll say something, a place or a name I've never even heard of, and suddenly my heart starts racing and I feel like I do in the middle of a battle. There's this massive adrenaline rush, but I know there isn't any danger. It's driving me crazy but I don't want to change rooms, because how do I explain why?"

Ino rested her chin on her hands, wishing she had Shikamaru's problem-solving skills. Even after Sasuke had left the village, or after one of Naruto's various near-death experiences, her friend had never seemed this shaken. "This is something else, isn't it? Something new," she guessed, confirming the truth of her words in Sakura's expression.

"When I was fixing the Sharingan, part of my chakra, it- went in," and suddenly she was recounting the whole terrifying experience. "At first it felt like something new, but I realised that I've actually felt like that before," she confessed, hugging her blanket closer, "maybe not so… condensed, but the same sort of potential. In certain battles- the worst ones- I've felt like I almost could enjoy it. Killing them, I mean," she gave Ino a sidelong glance, as though trying to gauge her reaction. "I know that's a terrible thing for a medic to think, but it's true. I just-"

But Ino raised her hand and cut off her friend's explanation. "Idiot," she told her, smiling as Sakura's eyes widened in surprise, "every ninja feels that sometimes. We lose people. We avenge people. We get caught up in the moment. We see humanity at its very worst. Of course it's hard to stay impartial about what we do; but our ability to do it anyway is what separates us from civilians."

Sakura sighed ruefully. "When did you get to be so wise?"

Ino laughed. "We've all changed since our academy days, huh? Even Naruto." She grinned, remembering the little blond terror who used to get into trouble with her teammates and act madly in love with her friend.

"We sure have," Sakura agreed, equally fondly, "though sometimes I wish we hadn't. Life was so much easier then. We could almost believe we were separate from it all; like peacetime would last forever and we'd never really have to risk anything big. Even when I visit The Blossom I can't relax anymore. I'm not the daughter of the owner, I'm a ninja who happens to eat there." The Blossom was the restaurant belonging to Sakura's mother, and it was in the predominantly-civilian area of town. Ino could see how Sakura might have trouble blending in nowadays.

But she also knew something that might help her. It would mean giving up her best-kept secret and risking everything, but it was the exact antidote her friend needed for her stress; and in any case, it might be nice having someone else in on the act. "Sakura…" she began, her voice deadly serious. "I have a confession to make."


	4. First Impressions

Sakura was relieved to hear that she would be discharged only two days after Ino's visit. Ever since the blonde had revealed her secret, the hospital room had seemed duller than ever. Kakashi continued to sleep most of the time; partly exhausted, partly ashamed to even look at her wan appearance and rapidly-healing bruise. She had tried to reassure him of her well-being and engage him in lighter conversation, but the attempts inevitably fell flat. Being stuck together without a mission to discuss or Naruto and Sai to break the tension brought about an uncomfortable realisation: they knew nothing about each other.

Sure, they knew the superficial facts that anyone could read on their public records, and they had years of shared memories of missions. But their background information and various little quirks had rarely been discussed; and to start now, after roughly a decade of knowing one another, seemed far too awkward. Kakashi had always been less-than forthcoming with personal details, and had made it clear from his very first encounter with Team Seven that he didn't much care about other peoples' either. It was a sad thing for Sakura to realise, but unfortunately it seemed too late to repair the rift in their relationship.

Tsunade was giving her a last-minute lecture as she packed her things.

"Now, when I say you've got two-week's leave for recovery, I mean for you to  _actually_ recover. Don't overuse you chakra. Don't use it at all, if you can help it."

"Not even to train?" Sakura asked, glancing up from her bag. Truthfully, it wasn't training she had in mind; but Tsunade didn't need to know that.

Her mentor scowled. "Just focus on getting your stamina back up before you go wasting all of it in exercises. Overexert yourself now and you'll just end up straight back here again."

Kakashi sat up in the opposite bed. "Hokage-sama, can I leave too if I promise I won't come back?"

Sakura laughed but Tsunade's scowl deepened as she turned on the jounin. "I'm not keeping you in hospital because I enjoy hearing you complain about how bored you are, Kakashi. You are a  _patient_ , and therefore will stay here  _exactly_ as long as I deem necessary. You're lucky you're alive getting this treatment at all. Perhaps you could use this time to contemplate that."

Kakashi's head drooped in a respectable impression of a kicked puppy. "You're right, Tsunade-sama. I should be grateful for everything the medics have done for me." He glanced at Sakura, who immediately regretted all her previous frustration over him. She might not know much about her former sensei, but she did know how much he hated hospitals. And after her experience with the sharingan, she felt she might understand why. He wasn't a medic, after all; his usefulness ended at the door, but the crisis didn't. She wondered how many people Kakashi had seen enter the hospital and not come out again, with nothing he could do to prevent it.

"Don't worry Kakashi," she smiled cheerfully, "I'll come visit you tomorrow if you like. I'll bring you something to read." Her silver-haired captain regarded her curiously, perhaps wondering about her sudden attitude-change. She had been practically jumping at the opportunity to leave the little room behind, and now she was promising to return the very next day.

"Thank you, Sakura-chan," he gave his eye-crinkle smile that Sakura could never fully believe in, but she simply waved goodbye. Clearly he wasn't expecting to see her again, but she would prove she was true to her word.

"Damn it!"

Sakura stood in front of her full-length bedroom mirror, waving away the smoke from her most recently-dissipated henge. She had been practising for so long that her tiny one-bedroom flat looked like it was on fire, and she could hardly see her reflection through the haze.

Cracking a window to let the smoke out, she re-read the scrap of paper Ino had given her. Hastily written in the blonde's handwriting was the following list:

**Ino's tips for creating a civilian henge:**

**1\. Change the most important features, like eye and hair colour and hair length and style, but don't change every little detail; things like height and face shape end up being too difficult to make consistent.**

**2\. Don't make your disguise stand out too much. Keep your alter-ego simple and convincing, just like you would on a mission.**

**3\. Practise it until you can do it the same way every time.**

**4\. Don't leave or return home wearing the henge. Find somewhere neutral and private to change, like an alley or public bathroom. That way nobody can link it back to you.**

**5\. DON'T TELL ANYBODY WHO YOU REALLY ARE. If anyone finds out, we won't be able to keep doing this (it's my secret too, don't forget!). Once you've mastered the civilian henge, destroy this piece of paper. Good luck, Forehead.**

Ino had written it down after explaining her secret to coping with ninja life. Sakura had stared, open-mouthed, as her friend formed the seals for a henge-no jutsu and temporarily became a brown-eyed girl with freckles and short auburn hair. She admitted to donning the disguise and pretending to be a civilian on her free evenings. Every now and then, usually after a long mission when Ino had been working non-stop, she liked to adopt the alter-ego and act like any other person for a few hours. She'd fashioned a name that wasn't an old clan title, created memories that didn't revolve around fighting and training, even made some civilian friends; all of which helped to ease the burden that ninjutsu could sometimes become.

Sakura's first reaction had been surprise, then a feeling of betrayal. Why had Ino felt the need to lie to her best friend- to everyone?

"How long have you been doing this?" she asked, and the hurt was detectable in her tone.

Ino had been quick to reassure her. "When I started last year, I only did it once or twice a month, if that. It was mostly just for fun, when my free time didn't coincide with anyone else's. It's only within the last few weeks that I've started getting serious about it. I would have told you sooner, but I- well, I guess I was ashamed that I'd come to rely on my civilian identity so much, when you and the others seemed to cope so well on your own." She ran an anxious hand through her long hair, and Sakura reflected on her words. Even though her parents were civilians, that lifestyle had seemed closed off since her first day at the ninjutsu academy. If what Ino said was true, then it would actually be possible to get away with a few hours of peace and normality… and wasn't that exactly what she had been craving?

And that was how she found herself practising her henge no jutsu in her bedroom that evening. She'd read Ino's instructions a dozen times already, but her studious nature wouldn't allow her to destroy the slip of paper until her disguise was perfect. She had an idea of how she wanted to look in her mind, but creating it was proving trickier than she thought. It was different on missions, when other people could be copied outright. But this disguise had to be an entirely new creation, similar enough to herself that it would stay consistent, but different enough that nobody would notice.

She'd thought Ino's second rule would be easy; after all, she'd spent her whole life 'standing out' and had no intention of keeping her bubblegum-pink hair. But once it had been changed to an unassuming black-brown, she'd realised what a corruptive power henge-no-jutsu could be. All the little things she disliked about herself, she suddenly had the power to change. More than once she'd had to fight the temptation to remake herself in the likeness of film stars and feudal princesses.

Eventually she found a henge that stuck; it was practical, easy to repeat, and different enough that not even Ino would know it was her straightaway. Her new dark hair fell down her back in soft waves that she could never naturally achieve. Her emerald eyes were unfortunately too conspicuous and had to be darkened to match her hair. Her height remained the same, though her lean body softened into something expected of a civilian. She stood before the mirror a moment longer, admiring her more feminine looks. Sakura had always loved dressing up and taking care of her appearance, but ever since those scathing remarks about her hair during her first chuunin exam, she been afraid of femininity being labelled as weakness. Hence, the idea of anonymity was oddly freeing. She wondered why she hadn't thought to do this years ago.

Slipping down a dark street as one person and out the other end as someone completely different was a curious sensation. She was right on the unofficial border between ninja and civilian areas. There was no real distinction or prohibition between the two groups; but people were naturally attracted toward those they shared commonalities with. Hence the wide cobbled path she meandered along eventually passed under a wooden red arch into a different-looking part of town. Weapon stores and fast food places morphed into grocery markets and intimate bistros. The nightlife was still as busy as ever, though the pedestrians wore far brighter and less practical clothing. Sakura had considered wearing her own 'special occasion' jewellery her mother had given her, but knew Haruno Takara would have recognised it the instant she walked into The Blossom.

Still, she grinned. It felt better than she'd ever expected, walking along the jewel-bright streets and feeling like she belonged there. Nobody stared at her hair or clothes, or associated her with battle and grief. Her recent anguish melted off her with each step, and the stubborn knot of pain the sharingan had left her was temporarily lost under layers of excitement and joy.

Unfortunately, she had been so worried about being recognised as a ninja that she hadn't considered any other obstacles to enjoying her night. It was several blocks from her destination, as she meandered down a narrow shortcut, that one such obstacle decided to meet her.

Rounding a corner, she found her path blocked by three men standing in a ring. There was a shadowy bundle on the ground between them, and as Sakura watched, it whimpered.

"Now that we've cleared the wax out of your ears, you might be a bit more obliging about answering our questions," the tallest man sneered, leaning forward with his fists raised. "Or do we need to repeat ourselves one more time?" He lunged forward, and Sakura could feel her body moving of its own accord.

"Stop!" she commanded, striding into their midst. She glared at the trio, enraged. They stared back, perhaps wondering why an unarmed woman had been foolhardy enough to interfere. After a moment, the tall man took a step toward her, hands still balled into fists.

Sakura tensed, preparing to meet him with her own surprising strength. Her henge would give her an unexpected advantage- they wouldn't be expecting a civilian to put up much of a fight- and so she continued to maintain it.

The man was almost within striking distance when the shortest of the three called out to him. "That's enough, San. This little mouse doesn't look like she's going to go scurrying back to her hole any time soon." This was obviously their leader. Despite being the smallest, he carried himself with a haughty, princely air. The taller man stopped immediately, though he continued to scowl at Sakura.

"Forgive my friend's rudeness," the leader smiled, but it was predatory and cold, "San has always lacked a gentle touch, especially when it comes to beautiful women. He would simply  _love_ to pluck the petals off a flower like you." The last man of the group laughed while San growled.

"Ichi-sama, she's seen too much."

"You see what I mean about gentleness?" Ichi sighed, shaking his head. "There was no reason to scare our new friend like that, you know."

"Let the man on the ground go," Sakura finally spoke up, and there was no trace of fear in her voice. Ichi raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Are you going to make us, little mouse?"

"If I have to," she replied, sliding her right foot back into a better fighting stance. She had been analysing the situation from the moment she decided to get involved. Their victim didn't seem too badly injured that he couldn't escape if an opportunity arose, and Sakura's first priority was to ensure that it did. A small part of her was disappointed that her night as a civilian would be over before it even began, but she pushed the thought aside. No matter what disguise she wore, she would always be a kunoichi underneath it.

"So be it," the man shrugged, pulling a long knife from a fold in his shirt. The other man, whose name Sakura didn't know but suspected would be "Ni," began to laugh again.

"Ahem."

The quiet voice came from just behind her and caught Sakura unawares. She spun around to face the newcomer, and when she saw the familiar mop of silver hair, her henge nearly failed from the shock.

Kakashi stood before them, his one visible eye travelling between the men and the girl. "Am I interrupting?"

"As a matter of fact-" the nameless man snapped, before his voice was cut off by Ichi's fist in his gut. As he doubled over wheezing, the other two men watched the jounin warily. Kakashi wore the Konoha forehead protector that clearly labelled him as a shinobi, and the three men must have understood that the tables had quite seriously turned. But Sakura thought there was something deeper in the leader's expression, something closer to hate than fear. The way he stared at Kakashi made her shiver in spite of herself.

Kakashi's attention had been fixed on the trio of troublemakers, but when the young woman trembled, he turned to her in concern.

"It's alright now, miss," he assured her, "you're safe."

There was a rustling noise and before Kakashi's dulled reflexes could respond, the men had run off while his focus was diverted. Within moments there was no trace that they had been there at all. The man lying on the ground had also disappeared.

"You let them get away!" The woman cried in dismay.

Kakashi blinked. He had expected a little more gratitude, considering he had probably saved her life. But shock affected everyone differently, and he had learned to never expect a reward for simply doing the right thing.

"I know. But I expect I'll meet up with them again before too long," his tone was cheerful, but he was determined to make sure that he did, for the sake of the civilians of Konoha. He didn't need to be a mind-reader to know what might have become of the girl if he had arrived just a few minutes too late.

"That was pretty brave of you, standing up to them like that," he told her, and her face grew pale.

"Thanks," she mumbled, suddenly unable to look him in the eye, "but I couldn't really have done anything."

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," he said, "I'm a ninja; I've trained for years to deal with thugs like them." Slowly, not wanting to frighten her, Kakashi took half a step closer. "Are you sure you're alright? I'm no medic, but apparently after something like that your body could go into shock without you even realising."

This made the woman smile, as though he had reminded her of an old joke. He watched her with surprise and increasing concern. "Perhaps I ought to take you to the hospital."

This got Sakura's attention. "No, I'm fine! I'm just a little shaken up I guess." In truth, she had been worrying about Kakashi discovering her true identity; which would have been mortifying after he had been so nice to her. But it seemed without the Sharingan he was no better at identifying her supressed chakra signature than the average shinobi. It was strange to have her old sensei talk to her like she was a stranger (especially a pretty one), and having her own medical advice repeated back to her had been stranger still.

But despite that, it almost felt like she was meeting Hatake Kakashi for the first time. And this time it wasn't some boy-crazy student meeting her elite-but-aloof sensei; it was a man meeting a woman. They were equals, in a way they had never seemed before. Even long after she had outgrown him as a teacher, she still felt as though she were running to catch up to his legend. It had been different with Naruto and Sasuke; she knew Kakashi felt they had surpassed him in ways he had never expected. But she was no clan prodigy or child of prophecy. And so for the longest time she had told herself to forget The Great Copy Nin, because he would never see her the way he saw his other, greater students. It had seemed they would be destined to drift apart for good; but destiny seemed to have its own ideas. She made a decision then, and extended her hand before she could change her mind.

"I'm Umeko, by the way," she introduced herself, using her fake name with a genuine smile.

He gently shook her hand. "Kakashi."

"Kakashi-san, I'm absolutely starving, and I was just on my way to get dinner. Would you like to join me?" She almost hoped he would refuse. It would be much easier to just walk away and let the opportunity pass her by. But another, more stubborn part of her wanted to get to know Hatake Kakashi before they became completely estranged.

Kakashi considered the lady's proposal, weighing the benefits of sharing a meal with a pretty stranger against his generally anti-social nature. He had snuck out of the hospital that night hoping to find some interesting distraction; and Umeko did seem  _very_  interesting. There was something unusual about her, but it didn't make him feel uneasy.  _What are you hesitating for?_ He asked himself.  _Don't pretend you haven't already decided._

"I'd love to."


	5. The Blossom

At first they walked in silence, both trying to think of something to say.  _God, this is worse than a first date,_ Sakura thought to herself. She was paranoid any questions she asked would arouse suspicion, or that Kakashi would ask her a question she wouldn't know how to answer.

Eventually he spoke up. "So where are we headed?"

"It's a restaurant called The Blossom," she replied, "I haven't been there in a while, but it's fairly popular."

"The Blossom…" Kakashi scratched his mask-covered chin. "I think I've heard of it somewhere."

Sakura made a noncommittal noise. She knew she'd never mentioned it to him before, but he might have heard about the civilian bar owned by a retired ninja couple. It was something of a talking point in Konoha- which prided itself on its powerful shinobi- for two people to give up the lifestyle so completely.

"Actually, I think I must have been mistaken," Kakashi said as they finally reached the glowing bistro. "I would have remembered."

The entire outside wall was painted with cherry blossom trees so lifelike that without the bright red sign and the sound of music from within, it might have been a doorway standing in the middle of a forest. Wooden steps led up to a small apartment block and down to The Blossom itself, where the sounds of people blended with the smell of good food. Kakashi gestured downwards.

"After you."

The interior of the bar was mostly done in crisp greens and earthy browns. The jounin's eye went immediately to the far wall, where someone had painted a mural. It was another sakura tree; this time with a young kimono-clad woman standing under its boughs. She had a beautiful, serene expression and a hair colour that perfectly matched the blossoms falling around her. Despite the woman's beauty, the painting didn't have the same realism as the exterior façade. Kakashi concluded that the rose-haired maiden was probably some Spring goddess dreamed up in the artist's imagination rather than painted with a real-life model.

Sakura glanced at the mural too, but only to remind herself how much she hated it. It had been painted a year after her birth, the final touch to her mother's masterpiece restaurant. It was the woman Haruno Takara's pink-haired daughter was meant to grow into, but the artist had made a fatal mistake. The picture was too beautiful, too perfect. When Sakura grew up into a pretty -but ultimately normal- young girl, she felt like a failure. Of course her mother had meant well, but The Blossom's painted maiden was just too great an image to live up to. Unfortunately she was the only one who seemed to hate it, and so she had gone through life smiling and pretending it wasn't the source of all her childhood insecurities.

"Who are you two?"

The pair were cut off at the bottom of the stairs by a short woman with chestnut-brown hair and a bright red yukata. She examined them through a tiny pair of pince-nez glasses, eyes narrowed.

Sakura was surprised by her mother's behaviour. The former kunoichi was usually the most sociable and cheery person in town; the consummate hostess. She wondered what had happened to make her look so hostile and suspicious.

Kakashi stepped forward, adopting the polite, diplomatic persona he used when talking to wealthy clients. "My name's Hatake Kakashi and this is Umeko," he gestured to Sakura, who shifted uncomfortably. It was an odd feeling, being introduced to your own mother.

Mrs Haruno looked them up and down once more before finally relaxing. "Hatake Kakashi. Of course you are, so sorry. I'm Takara; welcome to The Blossom. Of course I should have recognised you immediately, but you can't be too careful, you know." She fussed with her glasses, taking less-than subtle glances at Kakashi's covered eye and dark mask.

"Sorry, but why can't you be too careful?" Kakashi asked, voicing Sakura's own unspoken question.

Takara sighed apologetically. "It's nothing personal. I've just been getting a lot of new patrons lately, and not all of them are as well-known as The Great Copy-nin. And to be honest, the money's not worth the stress. Most of them break more than they spend, fighting and carrying on." Her voice dropped to a whisper, so that Kakashi and Sakura had to lean forward to hear her. "Don't spread this around," she began, and Sakura almost smiled; her mother was a notorious gossip, and always began the juiciest news in the same way, "but I think it has something to do with my new lodger."

"You have a lodger?" Sakura blurted out before she could stop herself. The other two looked at her, and she blushed.

"Yes, Kenta's been staying in my daughter's old room for about a week now. For the most part he's been perfect; always pays his rent in advance, never does any direct damage. But the people he seems to attract haven't been so great." After a dramatic pause, she straightened back up and gave a cheerful grin. "But that's not your problem. You two kids are obviously here to enjoy yourself, not share in an old woman's misery." She grabbed Kakashi's wrist and practically dragged him further into the building. He glanced back at Sakura with an amused shrug, as she tried to keep up with them. If she hadn't been disguised, she would have been mortified at the way her mother was treating her old sensei. But as Umeko, it just seemed funny.

They passed tables of people, all of whom seemed to be mild-mannered regulars rather than menaces to society. Sakura glanced at each of their faces, until she noticed one she recognised. Ino's auburn-haired henge stared at her, open-mouthed. For a moment she thought her friend must have recognised her despite the effort she had put into her disguise. She was about to raise a hand in greeting until she realised why Ino was staring. From her perspective, a pretty stranger had just walked into a restaurant with Hatake Kakashi: elite jounin and rumoured womaniser. The Yamanaka girl was almost as big a gossip as Haruno Takara, and news of Kakashi's new lady-friend would generate a lot of interest in shinobi circles.

Sakura swallowed nervously. Just how much trouble had she gotten herself into? If her disguise were to fail her right now, in front of her old captain, her mother, her best friend and about fifty random onlookers, she would have to move to Suna to escape the humiliation. Kakashi would think she'd tricked him, Ino would think she had sought Kakashi out on purpose, and Kami-knew what her mother would think. The thought alone made her want to run from the building, but she knew she had a little longer before her chakra levels became too strained. Plus, she truly did want to talk with Kakashi; if only to confirm that he was as enigmatic with strangers as he was with his students.

Finally she and Kakashi were plunked down in a corner booth at the back that offered a good view of the rest of the bar.

"There you go, nice and intimate," Takara winked saucily, and Sakura might have died of embarrassment then and there, disguise or no. Kakashi must have noticed her discomfort, because he rolled his eyes behind the woman's back as if to say  _"of course she_ would  _jump to_ that  _conclusion."_ Sakura gave a small smile. At least Kakashi didn't have the wrong impression.

"Now, can I get you two kids anything to eat or drink?" her mother asked, pulling a notepad and pencil from the folds of her yukata.

Kakashi looked at Sakura expectantly. "I'll have a glass of water and a serving of pork buns, please," she said, and The Copy Nin smiled politely.

"I'll have the same."

That surprised Sakura, who hadn't expected him to order anything at all. She and her teammates had been trying for years to catch a glimpse of him eating, when he would presumably remove his mask. Was tonight the night it finally happened? The thought gave Sakura a weird thrill of anticipation, like reading the climax of a novel.

Their order was written down and the notepad returned. "If there's anything else you need, just ask for 'Takara,'" the woman told them, sliding the pencil behind her ear. Finally, they were alone.

"So this is The Blossom," Kakashi took in his surroundings with an appreciative look. "It's nice. I should come to this area more often."

"You mean you don't live around here?" Sakura asked, knowing full well that his apartment was on the other side of town. The fact that he had clearly snuck out of the hospital still irked her, and she hoped for a confession.

She was to be disappointed. "I live on the Northern edge of town, but I felt like doing something different tonight." He shrugged blithely, scratching the back of his head. "How about you? You mentioned you hadn't eaten here in a while. Too far to commute?"

"I used to live close to here, but then I moved a bit further away and started a new job," she told him, which wasn't technically a lie. "I kept meaning to come back, but I got kind of… distracted." She hadn't realised just how badly she had missed her old home until that night.

Kakashi nodded sympathetically. "I can relate. I used to know Konoha like the back of my hand, but with all the battles and reconstructions of recent years, not much is familiar to me anymore."

"I suppose that's why you came to this area tonight? To reorient yourself?"

Kakashi shrugged. "To be honest, I just wanted to get away for a while. I didn't really care where; I just let my feet carry me where they wished. I don't really spend much time in the village these days, so I decided to enjoy my free time."

Umeko tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear, her expression unreadable. "When I was a girl," she finally said, "I used to think being a ninja and travelling to all the different nations would be the greatest thing ever."

Kakashi smiled at the girl. "Don't get me wrong; the other nations  _are_  beautiful. Each is completely different from the other, in terms of geography. You couldn't compare Sunagakure to Kirigakure, for example. Unfortunately, the sights you see as a ninja aren't the ones they put on their postcards."

Sakura watched her former sensei's one visible eye cloud over for a moment, and had the sudden desire to reach out to him. It was absurd- he was the most aloof man she'd ever known- but Sakura had spent several years working as a medic, giving support to the sick and the grieving. Compassion, she had found, was a hard thing to turn off. But she decided against it; from Kakashi's point of view she was a complete stranger, and even if he had known it was Sakura, their relationship had never allowed for something as intimate as the giving and receiving of comfort.

Haruno Takara chose that moment to appear, steaming trays in hand. "Hope I'm not interrupting," she chirped, placing their meals before them.

"Not at all," Kakashi replied politely. "We were only talking. You're welcome to pull up a seat and join us if you wish." He wanted to make it clear to Umeko that he wasn't trying to use her vulnerable state to his advantage; she shouldn't feel like he was expecting anything just for saving her.

Takara flapped her hand dismissively. "Oh, don't be silly! You young things don't want me interrupting your date! Besides, I have a business that needs running."

"It's not a d-" Sakura began, but fell silent as her mother turned to glare at the stranger that had just entered the restaurant.

"Kenta…" the woman breathed, and Sakura and Kakashi shared a glance.

"That's your lodger?" Kakashi asked, peering between the fern fronds. The man stood at around 5'7", with curly grey-brown hair that made him look older than he seemed. He walked to the bar and struck up a conversation with the bartender, who poured him a glass of cold tea.

"He doesn't drink, you see," Takara told them, "just drinks tea, so that if anyone does get rowdy and start problems, he can always play innocent."

"Why not just kick him out, if he's concerning you so much?" Sakura asked, trying to sound like an objective stranger and not like the woman's daughter.

Takara's eyebrows knit together briefly. "Oh, I couldn't do that," she said, "he really hasn't done anything wrong. I'm just being paranoid, I suppose. It's probably like this with everyone's first lodger."

"I guess…" Sakura didn't trust the man either, but that might just have been because he was staying in her old room. She didn't begrudge her parents trying to make a little extra money, but it still felt a little odd to think of this man sleeping in her bed.

"In any case, it's not for you two to worry yourselves over," Takara told them, gliding away back to the bar. The lodger glanced up at her approach, and his eyes travelled to the corner of the room she had come from. They rested briefly on the pair, who stared back unabashedly. After a moment, Kenta turned back to his drink and Kakashi turned to his dinner partner.

"I guess only time will tell if he's a homicidal maniac," he commented, and Umeko nodded, smiling.

"Quite right. In any case, I'm more interested in ninjas who save young ladies from bands of thugs. Did I mention how grateful I was about that?"

The jounin scratched the back of his head modestly. "Really, it was nothing. Any shinobi would have done the same. Especially for a pretty girl." The last part had slipped out accidentally, and he immediately felt guilty. Umeko  _was_ a pretty girl, but it was wrong to flirt with someone who felt like they owed you something. "Sorry. Not that I had any intentions or expectations about anything, I just-"

But she cut him off with a soft chuckle. "It's fine, I know you're a good guy. Call it 'intuition.' Besides," she added, " _I_  invited  _you_ to dinner, and you don't suspect  _me_ of any ulterior motives, do you?"

Sakura was surprising herself with how easy it was to talk like this. Umeko wasn't shy or naïve. She said and did things the real Sakura never would, especially not to her former teacher. But it was a dangerous game to play when people's feelings were potentially at stake. It felt like innocent banter, and she was confident Kakashi was 'experienced' enough to see it that way. But if Umeko somehow did cause her former captain pain, she silently swore she would transfer to Suna and never return.

Kakashi laughed, and Sakura was surprised at how genuine it sounded. He had never really done more than smile in her presence before, so his sudden mirth made him seem like a stranger. She realised it was because he looked younger this way. Like the young man he never had the opportunity to be.

"No, I don't suspect you," he told her, still smiling. "But if you really want to assure me your motives in inviting me to dinner were pure, we should probably start eating. Besides, I really don't want you going into shock from an empty stomach."

Sakura remembered the pork buns she had been looking forward to all evening, and picked up her chopsticks with enthusiasm. Kakashi watched with bemusement as the girl poked a small hole in the top of her bun, carefully widening the tear until it formed a perfect cross. With near-surgical precision she peeled the flaps of dough back, revealing the untouched filling.

"What in the Hokage's name are you doing? He finally asked, as Umeko began removing the filling and placing it to one side. So far she hadn't taken a single bite.

"Trust me, it tastes even better when you do it like this," Sakura replied, continuing with her strange ritual. She had done it this way for years, and it really did make the dumplings special.

"I can't imagine how," Kakashi still watched bemusedly, his own dumplings untouched.

"I guess when I do it like this, I feel like I've earned it," she shrugged, "so getting to eat it is kind of like my reward." Filling sitting to one side of her plate, she picked up the empty dough and held it gently between her chopsticks. "This is the important bit," she told him.

With a nimble flick of her wrist, Umeko was able to turn the entire dumpling shell inside out without as much as a tear. It sat perfectly, exactly like it had before but with the sticky part on the outside and the clean side within. As he watched, she refilled it with the meat and, obviously satisfied with her efforts, took a large bite.

"Nothing better in this world," she sighed contentedly, finishing the dumpling in two more bites and beginning her operation on the next one.

Kakashi had to admit, Umeko was an interesting girl. He couldn't decide if she was warmly familiar or pleasantly surprising. She was an enigma, and it fascinated him. "Like this?" he asked her, picking up his own chopsticks and attempting to mimic her movements. He lacked her precision, and his cuts were nowhere as neat as hers, but it was a decent first attempt.

She told him so. "Not bad at all. I guess being a ninja would give you some pretty good hand-eye coordination. Even when one of your eyes is covered like that."

Kakashi's hand unconsciously went to his sharingan, hidden beneath a layer of gauze with his forehead-protector over the top. "You should see me with both eyes uncovered," he said, and Sakura couldn't quite read his tone. Playful? Wistful?

She decided to press him, but gently. She wanted to know how he felt about his recent trauma, but he didn't seem able to talk to Haruno Sakura. If he felt more comfortable around Umeko, then that would be the next best thing.

"I'd like that. Only being able to see a quarter of your face does make it hard to know if my conversation is boring you. Why cover your face like that?"

Kakashi leaned back in his chair, trying to think of a casual way to change the subject. Conversations usually turned to his mask and sharingan, and usually he could brush it off with a stupid lie. But he didn't feel like playing the absent-minded professor or the cold-blooded killer or any of his many roles tonight. He was enjoying being Kakashi too much.

Just as the pause was getting uncomfortably long, something over Kakashi's shoulder seemed to distract Umeko. "Look, others have joined the lodger."

It was true. Two more men had entered the bar and made a beeline for Kenta. He greeted them in a casual way, and then began talking in a voice too quiet to be heard over the rabble. After a moment, the taller of the two men swung around in his seat to scan the area of the room where Kakashi and Sakura were sitting. Kenta smacked the man's arm and the other one laughed. After that they focused on nothing but their drinks.

"That was strange," Sakura commented, frowning, "do you think they were talking about us?"

"No way to know, but if ninjas are as uncommon a sight as Takara said, they might just have been curious." Kakashi sounded apathetic but in reality he had no doubt they had been the subject of their conversation. He just didn't know why.

Sakura was similarly suspicious, but kept it to herself. Civilian women weren't supposed to concern themselves with shady characters. "You're probably right. Best to just forget about it." She smiled and he seemed to return it beneath his mask.

"Good idea. Besides, I'm far too interested in trying the best dumplings in Konoha." He picked up his reassembled pork bun and extended his free hand to tug down the top of his mask. People had caught glimpses of his face before, especially while he ate. Usually he liked to deny the people particularly invested in the mystery, like his former students. But he wanted to see Umeko's reaction. Would she blush? Would she laugh? Would she be disappointed?

Sakura realised what was about to happen as Kakashi's fingers slid beneath the top of the fabric. Was he seriously going to show her, just like that? Would she be the first of her teammates to solve the riddle of their old captain's face? Even when hospitalised he had been able to elude her, as though he wove some illusion similar to Tsunade's youthful appearance, that prevented any opportunity to glimpse the real Kakashi. The girl's heart leapt into her throat with excitement, surprise and guilt, for it felt a bit like a trick. As her pulse fluttered her chakra did the same, and she became aware of just how low her levels had gotten in the space of the evening. She winced as she fought to maintain control over her genjutsu.

Kakashi paused, watching Umeko with concern as her eyes narrowed in concentration.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," she gasped, before seeming to remember herself. "I'm fine," she repeated more convincingly, "I just realised I have to go. Sorry." She stood up and was halfway to the exit before Kakashi could leave enough cash on the table to cover their food and follow her. The trio at the bar watched them leave.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?"

Sakura realised Kakashi was calling to her from the doorway, and glanced over her shoulder to make sure there was still enough distance for her to escape. She couldn't change here, in front of him.

"I'm fine, I just have to go. I'm sorry, really. I did have fun."

"Would you like to do this again sometime?" The question caught Sakura off guard, and as she turned back to Kakashi she could tell he was just as surprised at himself for asking it. "I mean, I'd like to actually finish a meal with you at some point. Besides, you left without paying, so you kind of owe me. Same time tomorrow night, at the bridge?"

Sakura was glad it was dark, because she could feel her genjutsu rippling slightly from the conflicting emotions swirling within her. Had Kakashi just asked her on a proper date?

She span on her heel and retreated further into the darkness of the street, quickly becoming lost in the crowd. But before she disappeared completely, Kakashi could hear her softly call back to him.

"Maybe."


	6. Cinderella

"I have to talk to you."

Ino blinked sleepily at the pink-haired girl on her doorstep. "Forehead, you know I like to sleep late on my days off. I would have thought you'd be doing the same, given your recent fatigue-related near-death experience."

"This is important," Sakura said, squeezing past Ino into her tiny apartment. Ino saw her friend's expression and didn't protest.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

"I messed up," she groaned, running a restless hand through her rosy hair. "I've done something so unfathomably bad I'm not even sure how I got to this point."

"Yikes," Ino grimaced in sympathy, "Better start from the start then."

Sitting down, Sakura took a deep breath as Ino watched expectantly. "So I made a civilian henge last night, and went to The Blossom."

"Hey, me too!" Ino said, suddenly perking up. "Did you see my henge? What did yours look like? Ooh, and did you see the woman Kakashi walked in with? Seems he's made a speedy recovery."

Sakura swallowed nervously. "Well the thing is… I  _was_  the woman Kakashi walked in with."

Her best friend stared in confusion for a moment, before suddenly bursting into laughter. "Sakura, the idea of pretending to be a civilian is to have  _less_ drama in your life."

"It was a mistake," Sakura defended, "it's not like I planned to meet my technically still-hospitalised captain down a dark alley while pretending to be a helpless civilian woman."

"Kami, when you make a mistake you make it big, huh?" Ino grinned. "Now explain exactly how you managed all of this..."

Ino's coffee cup had been poised in midair en route to her lips almost the entire time Sakura had been relating her predicament. Now it was placed firmly on the table.

"Well, you're pretty much fucked, aren't you?"

"Thanks," Sakura grumbled, "I knew you'd be able to shed some fresh light on the subject."

"Honestly I'm not sure what you expected me to tell you. You chose to invite him to dinner, and now he's going to expect to see Umeko again tonight."

"I shouldn't go."

"Then why didn't you tell him that last night, hmm?" Ino gave Sakura a knowing look that always irritated Sakura.

"I don't know! I wasn't myself- literally. Oh Kami, if he  _ever_  finds out about this, I'm leaving the country."

"Relax Billboard, it's not going to come to that," Ino assured her, you just need to meet him tonight as Umeko and explain that you can't ever see him again."

Sakura wasn't convinced it would be as easy as Ino made it sound, but was willing enough to try.

"I suppose so. He probably won't even remember me- Umeko- after long. I think he only asked to meet again tonight because he's bored cooped up in the hospital all day." It was stupid to think it was anything more than that. Kakashi probably would have accepted an invitation to dinner whether she was Umeko or not. It was only her concern for Kakashi and the lingering remnants of their former teacher-student relationship that made her feel so guilty.

"Thanks for the coffee, Ino- and for not assuming I had dinner with Kakashi because of anything… anything sinister."

"If you mean that I might have assumed you fancied him, I'd hardly describe such a thing as 'sinister'," Ino told her as she collected their cups. "You're not his student anymore. You're both adults."

Sakura chose to ignore her.

The sterile smell of disinfectant was actually quite comforting to the green-eyed medic. The hospital might have recently been her place of confinement, but it was also her place of work, the place she felt confident and powerful. She felt no uneasiness walking its halls.

"Haruno Sakura, do you even know the  _meaning_ of rest?" The thunderous voice of the Fifth Hokage appearing from a closed-off corridor stopped Sakura in her tracks.

"Shishou," she said meekly, "I'm not working. I'm just visiting today."

Tsunade snorted in disbelief. "I assume you're talking about Kakashi, in which case it's essentially work for you."

Sakura rather resented her mentor's implication. She had become a medic to protect her loved ones; yet she knew it wasn't always possible to save them all. But she  _had_ been able to save Kakashi, so why was Tsunade treating it as such a crime? Nevertheless she remained respectfully silent.

"Honestly Tsunade-sama, I'm just calling in for a minute because I promised I would. I just want to make sure he's okay."  _And see if he confesses to sneaking out last night._

Tsunade relaxed slightly. "As long as you don't use your chakra to examine him. He actually seems to have perked up today. Which is good, because something's come up and I don't know how he'll react to what I tell him."

Sakura frowned. "Why? What's happened?"

Tsunade glanced back at the closed-off corridor. "You'll find out anyway sooner or later. In fact, if you hadn't gotten yourself removed from active service you'd probably be working on it as we speak." She paused for a moment. "Hyuuga Kensuke, a respected elder of the Hyuuga clan, is dying."

Sakura was saddened to hear that, especially for Hinata's sake, who would soon be mourning a relative. But what did that have to do with Kakashi?

"I don't understand, Tsunade-sama. Did Kakashi know him?"

"No but if he agrees to it, he may share a deeper connection than he ever expected."

It took a moment for Sakura to realise what she meant. "You mean to transplant the byakugan's optic chakra vessel to Kakashi?"

"After the latest overexertion, it seems the single chakra vessel may be unable to continue unassisted. Hence, we have discussed the possibility of transplant with Kensuke-dono." Tsunade's face seemed rather grave considering this was excellent news. "All that remains is to discuss it with Kakashi."

"Let me tell him."

Tsunade's eyes half-closed in contemplation. On the one hand, she wasn't sure what would happen if Sakura and Kakashi spent any more time together. Sakura had ignored the medic's code for the masked jounin before, and had almost wasted her young life for his. But all the same, Sakura was maybe the only person whose opinion Kakashi might seriously consider. If Tsunade herself told him, he might feign nonchalant acceptance of his commanding officer's wishes, even if he was truly concerned about the procedure and how it would change Rin and Obito's gift. Sakura's medical opinion was above reproach, as Kakashi well knew. But her personal opinion would be more valuable, for their relationship had the potential to be gentler, with less need to pretend for the sake of appearance. Perhaps Sakura could give Kakashi something the Hokage couldn't.

"Very well. But remember that the decision is Kakashi's and Kakashi's alone. If he refuses, that's his prerogative."

Sakura frowned. "Why would he refuse? The operation is unprecedented, but shouldn't be too risky."

"He may have his reasons to hesitate," Tsunade told her.

Sakura wasn't exactly sure what she meant by that, but the ghost of a recollection flickered at the edge of her mind. Of course she knew how Kakashi felt about the Sharingan; it was why she'd risked so much to protect it. Could it be more than respect for a valuable weapon? It was obvious enough that the Sharingan had belonged to a now-deceased Uchiha. Just how had it fallen into Kakashi's possession?

Kakashi did indeed seem in better spirits amongst the lifeless white of his sickbed than he had on the day of Sakura's discharge. He was propped up on a pillow, and seemed to have been halfway through a bowl of soup when she entered; though naturally he wouldn't resume it in her presence.

"So you came back after all," he said by way of greeting.

Sakura huffed. "I said I would, didn't I?"

The jounin held out his hand, and Sakura stared at it uncomprehendingly.

"Well?" he said expectantly, "haven't you brought me Icha-Icha to help pass the hours of my imprisonment in relative solace? Isn't that why you're here?"

Sakura blushed. "Actually I forgot about that; I just came to see how you were doing."

"Oh. That's… nice of you."

Sakura could tell Kakashi was a little embarrassed by her caring, so she busied herself with his file, adopting her medic-nin attitude. "Besides, you'll probably be discharged as early as tomorrow at this stage. So hopefully you haven't been giving the orderlies trouble, trying to sneak out or anything," she said, watching him carefully for any indications of guilt.

She was disappointed. "You know me Sakura," Kakashi replied blandly. "I've been a model patient. Ask anyone."

Sakura fought the urge to glare at him. "Well that's just great, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi seemed to be grinning beneath his mask. "Honestly, you should just tell them to discharge me now. I feel fine, so what's one more night going to change? Besides: I've got a date tonight."

Sakura almost dropped his file. How casually he said it! She knew Kakashi was only so cavalier because he was confident she'd assume he was lying anyway. But a part of her was still a little paranoid he was teasing her; that he knew everything and was just waiting for her to confess.

"That's… highly unlikely, considering you've been cooped up here being a model patient. Who is this mystery date?"

"Cinderella," he replied, clearly pleased with his response.

Sakura's eye twitched. He was infuriating, and yet part of her was secretly flattered he had called it a 'date'; even if he thought he was having it with someone else.

"Right. Well, I'm afraid you'll just have to miss it. I'm sure Cinderella will understand." Time to change the subject. "But I do have some good news for you: Tsunade just told me that there's a terminally-ill Hyuuga who has agreed to donate an optic chakra vessel when he eventually passes."

Kakashi stared at her for so long she began to wonder if he understood the implications of such news.

"This would mean you'd have a fully-functioning optic chakra system for the first time. After the operation your sharingan will work better than ever!"

"But you'd have to operate on my sharingan," Kakashi said. His expression continued to reveal nothing.

"Tsunade's working on making it as safe as possible for you and the sharingan," she assured him. "It will work."

"But the sharingan will be changed," Kakashi said. "It will work differently to how it does now."

"But only in a good way. Like I said, it'll be improved. No more overexertion, and you might even be able to activate it manually rather than have it constantly in use."

Kakashi fell into silence, and Sakura began to see why Tsunade had discouraged her from assuming he would accept. She felt another unexpected twinge of angst, like she was a radio picking up someone else's feelings. It seemed there was indeed more to the sharingan than met the eye.

"Well you don't have to decide anything immediately. But I hope you do consider just how much this would improve your health."

Kakashi made a non-committal noise, and Sakura made her excuses to leave. She had a lot to think about before tonight.


	7. The Other Half

Sakura wasn't even sure Kakashi would come. After the surprisingly not-good news earlier, he had seemed too deep in his own thoughts to bother with something as irrelevant as a night out with someone he barely knew (or at least thought he barely knew). Nevertheless, Sakura was more determined to show up than ever. Her former sensei needed  _someone_ to talk to, and if tonight he decided it should be Umeko, Umeko would oblige him. Sakura could feel her chakra reserves were beginning to return to normal, so she should be able to avoid any slip-ups. After all Kakashi had been through recently, she couldn't bear the thought of his Cinderella suddenly turning into a pumpkin. She would play her role perfectly, and then Umeko would disappear. And no glass slipper would ever be able to trace her.

As Sakura approached the bridge, she saw Kakashi was already waiting.  _Is this the first time he's actually arrived early to something?_ Self-consciously straightening her dress over a body that wasn't hers, she stepped forward to greet him. She had made an effort to make Umeko look nice, telling herself it was her last night to just be a civilian and that she should enjoy it. The long dark hair she had given Umeko was swept back in a ponytail. She enjoyed its unfamiliar weight, so different from her usual spiky pink. Even though she was already very much an adult, Sakura had never felt like it more than when she was Umeko.

"Umeko. I was wondering if you'd decided against it after all," Kakashi murmured as she drew level.

Sakura smiled. "I would have felt bad leaving you out here. Besides, I do still owe you for last night. Sorry I dashed off like that."

Kakashi raised his hand in a gesture of dismissal. "No need to apologise. You looked like you had a good reason, and it's not my place to question what it was."

Sakura could tell he was sincere, but she couldn't help feeling a jab of chagrin. Did Kakashi have a good reason to protect his sharingan? Was Sakura a bad person, a bad medic even, if she continued to question what that reason was? In any case, he seemed better that evening than he had been in hospital. Putting it from her mind was the best way to enjoy her last night as Umeko.

Umeko's appearance had been a bigger relief to Kakashi than he had expected. He had been telling himself since the moment he set foot on the bridge ten minutes early, that he shouldn't expect much from the night. He had almost convinced himself she wasn't coming when she finally arrived. She looked stunning, and nervous as hell; which made Kakashi nervous despite himself.

"Shall we head off?" he asked, gesturing away from the civilian section and across the other side of the bridge. "There's a place I'd like to take you to that you might not have been to before. It's more popular with shinobi." He watched her expression closely to see if this would bother her, but she seemed oddly amused by the prospect.

"That sounds exciting. Please, lead the way."

As they meandered through the village streets, Kakashi found himself surprisingly talkative; a contrast to their near-silent walk to The Blossom.

"That's the ninja academy over there. I mean, you probably know that already. It's a fairly common landmark…" Kakashi groaned internally. He realised he didn't speak to very many civilians. Sure, he'd help the odd old lady find her cat or weed her garden or whatever, but he never really had a conversation with them. He knew he was being awkward by pointing out shinobi things like they would be foreign to a civilian, but his mouth seemed too comfortable with Umeko, even if his head was buzzing.

To her credit, Umeko seemed happy to humour him. "I mean, I've passed by the outside a couple of times, but I've never been inside. What's it like?"

"It's a pretty normal setup, I guess. I haven't been a student there in ages, so I don't see much of it either."

"Well, how was it when you were a student? What kind of student were you?" She seemed so genuinely curious about his world that Kakashi found himself both keen to impress her and paranoid that she would get too close, strip away too many layers with her questions.

"I was pretty good, yeah. Bit too aware of it, maybe…" he cocked his head in a joking smile, and Umeko smiled back.

"Really? You don't seem the type to be arrogant. I bet your classmates didn't think you were either."

Kakashi snorted. "Well, some of them though I was ok. One in particular thought I was a total jerk. I'm still not sure who was right." He felt suddenly wistful, thinking about old academy memories; but it wasn't as painful as it usually was. It felt like the past was able to flow more freely into his mind, and flow out again just as easily. It was a peaceful feeling after so much recent trauma. He turned to glance at Umeko, to make sure he looked attentive and not lost in his thoughts. She looked back, gazing into his eye with an unreadable expression.

They continued on, chatting about this and that thing that passed them by. At one point Hyuuga Hinata crossed their path and gave a small polite bow to Kakashi. Umeko watched her closely, seemingly focused on the girl's curious eyes. She had probably heard a lot about the Hyuuga clan, even as a civilian. It was perhaps his imagination, but Umeko seemed to slump slightly after the other girl disappeared around a corner, as though in relief. She was possibly just starstruck at seeing such an important person. Kakashi felt a little relieved too, but mostly because Hinata was too kind to comment on the beautiful woman by his side.

"We're here," Kakashi said at last, when Ichiraku Ramen came into sight. At the time it had seemed like a nice enough place to take Umeko; it had to be some of the best food in town, and after so long in hospital he was craving such a meal. But now, looking at the humble stand and cheery chef, the jounin felt kind of cheap. Embarrassed, he glanced at Umeko to see if he could gauge her reaction. Beautiful women like her weren't usually seen sitting down to a bowl of ramen.

But to his surprise, she burst into laughter. "This is an inspired idea, Kakashi-san," she told him, ducking under the flags and pulling up a stool in front of the chef. After a beat, Kakashi joined her. He considered himself a good judge of character, but Umeko truly perplexed him. She felt refreshingly new yet comfortingly familiar all at once.  _Kami, I sound like a lovesick teenager._

"Oh, Kakashi-san." The chef greeted him with his usual cheer, before turning on Umeko. "And it's a pleasure to meet you, madam. Kakashi-san is lucky to have such a beautiful girlfriend."

Umeko waved her hands hurriedly in a gesture of denial. "Oh no, I'm not-"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI, WHO'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND?" A familiar voice rang out through the ramen stand, and Kakashi didn't even have time to turn around before his vision was filled with the blond hair and whiskered face of his former student. "Ne, Kakashi-sensei? I didn't know you had a girlfriend." he turned on Umeko before Kakashi could interject. "Nice to meet you. I'm Uzumaki Naruto. Kakashi-sensei used to be my teacher and captain."

Umeko closed her eyes for a moment as though counting to three, then responded with a remarkable degree of calm. "Umeko. And I'm not Kakashi-san's girlfriend."

Naruto nodded. "That makes sense. You're way too pretty for him." He turned back to Kakashi eagerly. "So if this isn't a date, can I join you? You can treat me to a bowl of ramen, sensei, because you never get to see me anymore."

Kakashi fought the urge to flick him in the forehead. "Baka. Don't you know it's rude to interrupt people while they're at dinner, even if it isn't a date?"

"But you haven't even ordered food yet! Please sensei, just one bowl!"

"Don't you have your own money? Besides, I'm being treated myself, so I can't treat you."

"Oh." Naruto looked disappointed for a second, before seeming to have an excellent idea. "Ne, Umeko-nee-chan-"

"-Naruto, you can't beg for food from people you've only just met!" Kakashi chided him, exasperated at his shamelessness.

"It's ok." Umeko finally spoke up, after watching their interaction with apparent interest. "I don't mind paying for you both." She seemed amused by Naruto's antics; or perhaps she knew of Naruto. These days he was something of a celebrity.

Naruto grinned and sat down in the seat on the other side of Umeko. "Ji-san, tonkatsu ramen please!" Kakashi refused to feel too annoyed that Naruto was joining them. After all, it wasn't a date. It shouldn't matter that the pair had become a trio. In fact, Naruto's lively spirit might make it easier to get to know Umeko without the guards they both seemed to put up. But he did feel a twinge of jealousy despite himself. It was silly, but Umeko felt a little like a mythical creature; something rare and special that he alone seemed to know about. It was probably just due to her being a civilian, and therefore not running in any of his usual circles. There was just something about her that he found intriguing, some mystery there that he wanted to be the first to uncover. The feeling was quite new to him; he'd never had a particularly curious nature, and even if he did want to understand something or someone better, he could always just use his sharingan. But of course, that wasn't an option…

When their bowls of ramen arrived, there was a brief pause as Naruto began to eat with gusto, and Umeko grew suddenly shy. She seemed torn between looking at Kakashi and focusing on her food. In the end she took a distracted slurp of ramen and grimaced at what must have been scalding hot broth. Kakashi caused this reaction a lot. People were always curious about his mask, and what was underneath. In truth, he enjoyed the idea of showing Umeko. It wasn't like he never showed anyone, and frankly, it had to come off sometimes. Like for eating. Or kissing. But even so, he wasn't going to give away his own mysteries so freely, especially to such a person. When Umeko looked down at her bowl to fish out a piece of pork, Kakashi, quick as lightning, tugged down his mask and ate half of his meal before either of his companions could look up.

Naruto seemed to take Kakashi's speed-eating for granted, and ignored him. Instead, he asked, "so how do you know each other anyway? I've never seen you before, Umeko. You're not a ninja, are you? Unless you're from another village?"

Umeko laid down her chopsticks and paused for a second. "Well, I actually only met Kakashi-san last night. I'm a civilian and he helped me when I was in trouble." Kakashi remembered the 'trouble' as Umeko standing up to a group of suspicious men down a dark alley. He honestly wasn't sure what would have happened next if he hadn't turned up to 'help.'

"Wow, you saved her Kakashi-sensei? That's so cool!" Naruto gave Kakashi a thumbs-up of approval. Then it seemed an idea occurred to him, and he turned back to Umeko with a sly expression. "Kakashi-sensei's actually a really great guy, always saving people and stuff. He's a really powerful ninja too." It sounded like Naruto was trying to set Kakashi up with Umeko. It was a nice thought (if entirely unwarranted), but Kakashi wanted to smack him in the back of the head for being so un-subtle about his approach. He didn't need his former student acting as a wingman for him.

Umeko's face reddened at Naruto's tactics, but she did seem interested. "Is he? He seemed pretty modest about it to me."

"He's just about the most powerful ninja in the whole village, actually. Apart from me, that is."

"Really? What was it like to have such a shinobi for a teacher?" Umeko leaned in, appearing surprisingly interested.

"It was great. I mean, he was always late to stuff, and usually ignored us to read dirty books… But he was also really brave!" he added hastily. "He always protected us from the worst stuff, and helped the three of us get really strong."

Umeko's interest seemed to increase. "The three of you?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, the three-man team we fought in. Me and Sasuke-kun and Sakura-chan. Kakashi was our captain, and he trained us all into great ninjas." Naruto's smile grew a little wistful, and Kakashi knew he was thinking about Sasuke. Then his face brightened and he puffed his chest proudly. "And now I'm gonna be the next Hokage!"

Umeko smiled, and Kakashi sensed an inexplicable glint of sadness in her eyes. "I have no doubt, Naruto-kun."

After that they chatted for a while about Naruto's various adventures and misadventures, particularly those that included Kakashi. Umeko listened, and occasionally asked a question, but mostly let them lead the conversation. Kakashi was a little disappointed about losing the opportunity to learn more about Umeko, but it was nice to catch up with his old student. He hadn't really talked to any of Team Seven for a while. Of course he'd been on a mission with Sakura recently, and then shared a hospital room with her for a bit. But it had felt slightly distant and sad, like being together only made them both aware they shared a past, but no present or future. They had barely spoken the whole time, and Kakashi hadn't really questioned that.

Eventually he and Umeko said their goodbyes and left Naruto to indulge in another few bowls of ramen. "Can I walk you home?" Kakashi offered.

Umeko seemed to hesitate. "It's probably out of your way. Just to the bridge will be fine."

She seemed a little distracted as they walked, like at some point something had gotten her attention and had never fully let it go. Kakashi tried to make conversation, but it always fell short. Perhaps she felt a little left out after Naruto's arrival. She had been pretty quiet after the first few minutes. She didn't seem particularly upset though, just thoughtful. He decided to let her be, and try to think of the silence as companionable.

"So I guess this is where we part ways," Kakashi said as they reached the foot of the bridge. He had meant it to be a neutral statement, maybe even an opening for them to suggest a future time to meet up. But the look in Umeko's eyes made it clear those words were going to be literal.

"Kakashi-san."

"Listen, I'm sorry about Naruto," Kakashi spoke before the beautiful woman standing before him explained the reason she looked so sad, "He kind of butted in on our evening. I should have told him I'd catch up with him later."

Umeko cocked an eyebrow. "Would you have?"

Kakashi ignored the question. "Thing is, I'd like to do this again. Properly." There was more he wanted to say, but there were absolutely no words to say it with.

Unfortunately, Umeko knew exactly what she wanted to say. "I'm sorry, Kakashi-san. I told myself this would be the last time we'd meet up like this, and I think it's best I stick to that." She was unable to meet his eyes.

Kakashi wasn't sure what to say. What could he say? They barely knew each other. It shouldn't matter to him if she left. Everybody left eventually, and she had spared him the agony of getting too close before she did.

"Well, I guess… thanks. For everything. I've had fun these past few nights."

"So have I," Umeko assured him, "Really."

He wanted to ask,  _so why does it have to end?_ But he thought he understood. He was a ninja. Umeko was a civilian. It was always a risk for one to get too close to the other. Shinobi lived their whole lives in the shadow of death, and civilians who got too close to that shadow could only ever become victims.

"Well, goodbye then, Umeko."

"Goodbye, Kakashi-san. I'm sorry." She looked like she meant it.

And once again his Cinderella walked away into the shadows of the night, and Kakashi was left to wonder what fairy godmother had ever put her in his path to begin with.


	8. Nature

Sakura had bad dreams that night.

At first she was just walking down the streets of Konoha, looking into shop windows at their various displays. But when she passed by a stall selling masks, like for a festival, she saw her own eyeless face staring back at her.

She reeled back with a shriek, but the mask was unmistakeably her face. It had her soft pink hair, her lips, even the tiny scar on her cheekbone.  _How is this possible?_ She thought, forcing herself to look away.

The whole rack of masks were the same, hyper-realistic and creepy. The next one along, she found, was Umeko. It had the long dark hair and perfect oval face of her henge. In a way, this mask was even more horrifying, because Umeko really had been artificially constructed. In a sense, she  _was_  a mask.

There were other masks on display. She recognised her face when she was much younger, and still had long hair. There was the painted face of The Blossom's mural. The long blonde hair and forehead seal of her mentor, Tsunade. Even Kakashi's cloth half-mask was there, an odd contrast to the full human ones. There was even one face she didn't recognise: a brunette girl, maybe in her early teens, with purple stripes on her cheeks. She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but looking at it caused her heart to race.

"Care to try one on?" The street vendor was right behind her. Their face was a complete blank: she couldn't properly look at it.

She shook her head. "No, thank you."

The vendor seemed surprised. "Oh? Do you  _really_  like that one you've got on?"

Sakura's hands flew to her face, and she raced to the mirror hanging on a nail at the edge of the stall. But before she could look at her face, the mirror shattered and the dream changed…

Now everything was swirling red and black, seas of blood and storms of darkness. Shards of mirror glass whipped around her face, stinging her eyes. She tried to scream but her mouth clogged with dark liquid, causing her to choke and cough. She scratched at her mouth with her hands, but there was a thick layer of cloth covering it over. She tried to wipe the glass and blood from her eyes, but it only made it hurt worse, sending shooting pain into her left eye. She was sure the pain would kill her any second. But she didn't want to die in such a place, with no friends to carry her body back home. She collapsed to the damp ground, breathless and in agony. And the ground swallowed her up…

She was back at the Blossom, or at least watching the main bar at the Blossom play out before her eyes, like a scene from a movie. She couldn't turn her head to look in any other direction. In fact, she couldn't move anything at all. It took her a moment to realise that she had become the painting of the beautiful pink-haired woman. She was frozen in a graceful pose under an eternally-blooming tree. It was rather peaceful, if she didn't think too hard about the compulsion to move.

She could see her mother working behind the bar, and wished she could call out to her. There was also the lodger, Kenta, there too. He seemed to be admiring Sakura the mural as he sipped his tea. Sakura felt uncomfortable under his gaze; like he knew she was trapped there in the painting but wouldn't help her free. After a moment he got up and walked toward the wall where Sakura stood trapped. Her mother continued what she was doing. Kenta smiled as he approached, looking straight into Sakura's real eyes. She didn't know what scared her so much about the man, but her peaceful feeling had entirely evaporated and had been replaced with desperate panic. Her ninja reflexes were telling her to flee or fight, but she remained frozen and beautiful under her tree. He was so close now he'd be able to touch her. Slowly he extended his hand…

Sakura shot up in bed so suddenly that her blanket went flying across the room like a ghost. Gasping, drenched in sweat and with enough latent adrenaline to punch a hole through anything that came at her, she stood in a fighting stance on the end of her bed for a few rapid heartbeats, before her brain caught up with her and she slumped back.

She was too worked up to go back to bed, so put on a dressing gown and went to make herself a cup of tea. The sun had barely crested the horizon, and would take a little longer to rise high enough over the buildings of Konoha. But she could see well enough, and even the small amount of light helped soothe her troubled heart.

What did the dreams mean? Why had they visited her now? Was it guilt from deceiving Kakashi and then leaving him without explanation? It had seemed the kindest thing to do in the long run; the longer she was Umeko, the longer she risked hurting him. Or worse, doing something really stupid like falling for him.

Perhaps that was the real cause of her dreams. She was being punished for liking her secret identity more than her real one. As Umeko she felt mature and feminine, everything she felt she lacked as Sakura. In truth, she was about the same age as Umeko looked. She had been an adult for a while now. But in the eyes of others she still felt like a freakishly-strong, highly professional medic nin, who couldn't be viewed by other shinobi as a proper woman when she was stitching up their naked bodies, or beating them up in a sparring match.

Or worse, what if people still saw her as the gangly pre-teen with long hair and no real abilities? She worried that Kakashi sometimes saw her like that, which was probably why he had never bothered giving her any extra training like he had with the boys. Granted, Sasuke and Naruto were confirmed prodigies, but it still occurred to her to feel hurt by Kakashi's neglect. Naruto's words that night, about Kakashi training them all into powerful ninja, only felt half-true. His training had been important, but it hadn't been what made her powerful. Tsunade's personal instruction and several years of dedicating herself to becoming someone who could protect her loved-ones had done that.

Umeko had managed to get closer to Kakashi in two nights as a civilian than Sakura had gotten in several years as a kunoichi. It had felt weird to see him differently, as an equal, as a man. It had felt even weirder to be seen by him as a woman. But it had opened her mind to a frightening and alluring possibility: that she could be something more than what she was. Was that what she wanted? And was Kakashi the man she wanted it from? If her nightmares were anything to go by, the answer was probably  _no_. But perhaps it was her approach that was flawed. If she wanted to befriend Kakashi, have him view her as an equal, it would only be meaningful if he saw  _her._ The only way Kakashi should see her was as Sakura. If he didn't care to get to know Haruno Sakura, then she needn't bother herself with getting to know Hatake Kakashi.

There was a knock on the door of Kakashi's apartment. He hadn't been expecting anybody, and people didn't just drop by. Especially not so soon after his getting discharged from the hospital. He wondered if it was Tsunade, changing her mind about his release and coming to drag him back to that antiseptic-smelling hell. He almost let himself believe it might be Umeko, before silently reprimanding himself. Even if she knew where he lived, she had seemed pretty determined that they would never again cross paths. She probably had a husband or something, that didn't like the idea of her getting friendly with strange shinobi.

Of all the people he had imagined, Sakura hadn't come up. But there she stood, looking kind of tired, but holding up a bag of what smelled like good food.

"Tsunade told me you'd been released. I figured you probably weren't in the mood to cook, so I made some rice balls."

Kakashi cocked his head to one side, trying to understand this new friendliness in his estranged student. He held his hand out for the bag. "Thanks. You didn't have to."

Sakura pulled the bag back out of reach. "Actually, I was thinking we could go for a walk. It's a nice day, and you've been cooped up for ages. How about a sort of picnic… thing?"

The silver-haired jounin thought about a polite way to decline. Even if it meant missing out on food, the prospect of a random picnic with Haruno Sakura, on a day that he felt particularly antisocial, didn't really appeal to him. But she saw his hesitation, and the sudden glimmer of hurt in her eyes seemed so surprisingly intense that he felt compelled to please her.

"Yeah, sure. Just let me grab my vest."

She knew exactly where to take him. There was a clearing not too far from the entrance of Konoha, where she occasionally went to train, or even just relax. There was a small lake, more like a large clear pond, where she could walk out to the centre and practice her forms. She had only recently decided to hone her elemental ninjutsu; after so long building up her taijutsu and medical jutsu, she felt like a new challenge. And it had indeed been challenging. She hadn't even been sure what her chakra nature was. She'd bought the special paper that was supposed to reveal it (Naruto had mentioned it once when Kakashi was helping to train his wind style a few years ago), and had been surprised when it turned soggy in her hand. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, but she had never noticed a special affinity with water before.

But after doing some research, alone in the Konoha library, Sakura decided it made a degree of sense. Water-types were generally intelligent and adaptable, inclined toward healing, and approached obstacles with perseverance and patience. It was actually a little gratifying to see what she had always quietly thought to be her finest qualities, reflected back at her in her chakra nature. She set about learning and practicing the seals for some basic water release jutsu. They were tricky to get right, especially when learning them out of a book. But she was able to make two water shuriken before she got drained, and had even managed to make a small amount of mist once. She looked forward to the day that she could surprise everyone by producing a Water Dragon Bullet, one of the first water release jutsu she had ever seen. That had been on her first mission with Team 7, when Kakashi had promised to protect them with his life. Of course, that day was a long way off, but that only made her keener to get back into her usual practice regime.

"Here we are. What do you think?"

Sakura stepped into a small clearing with what appeared to be a natural spring in the middle. It was ringed by a cluster of trees, creating a rather cosy atmosphere. Kakashi was indeed impressed; he hadn't known this place existed, so close to the village.

"Yeah, it's pretty. How long have you known about it?"

Sakura shrugged. "Found it a little while ago, by accident. At first I just came here because it was nice and quiet," she told him as she unpacked the rice balls and knelt on the grass beside them, "but I also do a bit of training here these days."

"Really? Doesn't seem like there'd be enough space." Kakashi couldn't imagine Sakura punching up the idyllic little clearing. He grabbed a rice ball and wolfed it down while Sakura was looking the other way. "So why'd you bring me out here?"

She paused, apparently considering her response. "I dunno really. It's just a nice place, and it seemed a shame to keep it to myself."

"So nobody else knows it's here?"

"I mean, others have probably stumbled upon it at some point, but you're the first person  _I've_  told about it."

Kakashi frowned. "That's really nice of you, Sakura-chan, but you didn't have to."

She seemed surprised by his response. "I know. I wanted to."

"It's just, I know things were tough with the hospitalisation and all, but I don't need… pity or whatever this is."

"Why would I be doing this out of pity?"

"Why would you be doing it at all? I don't know. We're not exactly close these days. I haven't been your captain for years."

"We haven't been 'close' ever," she replied, and Kakashi sensed a lot of hurt behind her words. He held up his hands in a gesture of dismissal.

"That's not true, Sakura-chan. You were my student. I like to think we were  _all_ close at some point. Times have changed, but I haven't forgotten Team 7. Actually, just last night I ran into Naruto, and-"

Sakura stood up so fast that Kakashi was actually surprised into silence. He wasn't sure his reaction was due to his out-of-action sharingan or an underestimation of Sakura's growth as a ninja. Her hair looked particularly fluffy, like a cat puffing up its tail in defence. Kakashi wondered if she would try to hit him. But when she spoke, she sounded unnervingly calm.

"What's Sasuke's chakra nature?"

The unexpectedness of the question threw Kakashi. "What?"

"You heard me; what elements does he use?"

"Fire and lightning, but-"

"And what about Naruto?"

"We both know he's wind-natured, what's your p-"

"And what's my chakra nature?"

Kakashi swallowed. To be honest, he couldn't know for sure, having never asked or tested her himself. He knew she was waiting for him to crumble and admit to that though, and he didn't want to give her the satisfaction. Anyway, all the clues were there for him to figure it out easily enough.

He smiled confidently. "You're earth-natured of course," he said, as though surprised she didn't know. "For all that I've been a  _horrible_ teacher these past few years, it doesn't take a genius to notice the way you can move earth with your chakra." He gave her an offended look, hoping she felt guilty for ever doubting his knowledge of her.

She stared at him for a long time, as if reading what little she could see of his face. He felt a sudden surge of sympathy for the people he had examined with the sharingan, for he finally understood what it meant to be completely stripped bare by someone's eyes alone. He met her piercing gaze defiantly, until finally she blinked and looked away. She laughed mirthlessly, apparently dissatisfied by what she had seen in him.

"You really don't know anything about me, do you?" she said, amazed. "All these years I thought you were trying to understand the way I worked just as much as you were with Sasuke and Naruto." Her eyes were bright but free of tears as she spoke, something that surprised Kakashi.

"You know, when I first started working with them, I was so terrified of being left behind. I used to dream that the rest of Team 7 had gone off on a mission and hadn't bothered to wake me up and tell me. I used to have nightmares about getting trapped somewhere, and nobody coming to find me." The pink-haired kunoichi clenched her fists at the apparently painful memory. "But then I woke up and I thought no: Kakashi-sensei swore that he wouldn't let anyone die. He promised to protect us with his life. And  _I_ swore that I would become someone you would be proud to protect."

"Sakura…" Kakashi began, unsure how to respond. The unexpected picnic had taken an even more unexpected turn.

"But then you  _did_ leave me!" she cried, throwing up her hands, "First Sasuke, then Naruto, then you! You all went away and left me here!"

"I didn't go anywhere!" Kakashi defended, finally finding his voice.

"Yes you did! You ran away with Sasuke to drown in revenge. You journeyed all over the country with Naruto and Jiraiya. You forgot that I was still here, still close enough to help. We were all we had left, and you just walked away."

"I gave you Tsunade. I  _personally_ asked her to consider training you. I did what I could to give you the best opportunity in your career. You didn't need me, Sakura."

"I needed you," Sakura said, and the softness of her voice contrasted deeply with the shouting of before, "Maybe not always with my career, but with  _life._ You barely talked to me every time you saw me. You made some stupid excuse every single time I suggested we take a walk together, or share a meal, or  _train._ It got to the point where I stopped asking." She faced away from him now, and Kakashi could only wonder at her expression.

What could he tell her? That he had been afraid of failing her, like he failed the other two? That he truly had believed she didn't need his help like they did? It would have been a weak lie. Sakura knew the truth; that Sasuke and Naruto were strong, and interesting, and  _special,_ and in the end Sakura had just been the extra teammate that he didn't have time for, that got handed over to Tsunade when she was the only one  _left_  to give his time  _to_. Even when they had reunited with Naruto and Sai as the new Team Kakashi, he'd been more interested in developing Naruto's overflowing potential than he had been in Sakura's progress. She had already exceeded his expectations at that point, to be honest.

It was an awful truth to realise; even more so because it was clear Sakura knew it too. She turned back to look at him once more, and he found himself unable to meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. I  _did_ neglect you. You deserved a great teacher, and you never got that from me."

"No,  _I'm_ sorry," Her voice sounded so lifeless that Kakashi couldn't resist the urge to look at her. Her eyes were like unpolished jade, cloudy and unfocused. "I should have realised it was too late to get to know you now. It's too late for  _you_  to get to know  _me_. We just…  _don't_ mean that much to each other." She seemed to be resolving herself to a major decision. Kakashi wanted to stop whatever it was, change her mind; but he wasn't sure it was his place, if it had ever been.

"Goodbye, Kakashi-sensei. For the record, saving your life wasn't anything sentimental, so you shouldn't feel embarrassed by it. I did it because the medic's code states that we must never give up on healing our comrades; only their death will stop us trying to save them. Just so you know."

She began to walk away in the direction of the village. Before she left the clearing, she paused and turned back, as if she had forgotten something. "Also, for what my opinion is worth, you should accept the transplant. Your sharingan is powerful, but that's exactly why it's so unstable. I can tell it hurts you; it doesn't have to, though. For once, think about what you'd gain as well as what you're afraid you might lose."

After a brief, neutral smile, she turned away once more and disappeared among the trees. Kakashi stayed in the clearing a while longer, in the vain hope that he could channel its serenity into his own turbulent mind. Why did everybody seem to be leaving him lately? And why did he seem to care? Umeko was a stranger and Sakura was estranged. It was a surprise they'd been willing to be a part of his life at all.

Nevertheless, he felt like someone had stabbed a fishhook through his gut and was tugging on the line. What made these women so special? What made his emotions so suddenly intense?

Sakura got just out of earshot before she burst into tears. She berated herself for caring so much. Honestly, she shouldn't have been so surprised by such an outcome. There was no reason for Kakashi to have been interested in the real her; it made far more sense that it was Umeko's beauty and mystique that had attracted him all along. And even so, why should she care so much? What made Kakashi so special? What made her feelings for him so suddenly intense?


	9. Trust

Sakura decided to go to Tsunade to pick up shifts at the hospital. She told herself it was because she needed to feel useful after such a long period of inactivity, but the fact that the hospital was the last place Kakashi would ever willingly go did make the idea particularly appealing. She figured she could at least do simple tasks like taking temperatures and filing paperwork, if Tsunade still didn't trust her to use her chakra.

She found the Hokage in her office at the hospital, poring over a scroll that spanned the length of her desk. She looked up when Sakura entered, and for a moment her eyes seemed to look right through her.

"Tsunade-shishou? I'm here to report that I'm feeling much better and am ready to return to active duty, in whatever capacity you need me." She noticed her mentor's eyes were rimmed with dark circles as she examined Sakura pensively.

"Sakura," Tsunade began, and her hesitation made Sakura nervous, "How close would you say you and Kakashi are?"

Sakura felt like someone had tipped a bucket of ice down her back. A thousand fears and questions bubbled to the surface. Did Tsunade know? How did she find out? Was she about to punish Sakura for everything she'd done? She felt she deserved it, but she still cringed inwardly. And yet, Tsunade's expression didn't seemed disappointed or angry; merely thoughtful. Sakura decided to play dumb.

"What do you mean by that, Shishou?"

"I mean, he was once your teacher, then your captain, then I believe you two were estranged for quite a while. And yet on this last mission you went as far as breaking the medic's code to save him. I just wondered if you would consider yourselves friends."

 _So she doesn't know about being a civilian,_ Sakura thought to herself, though she couldn't yet allow herself to relax.

"We're… comrades. In a battle, I'd trust him with my life, and I believe he trusted me with his when I was healing him. I don't know if you could say we're friends, though."

Tsunade seemed to contemplate this answer. "The other day you asked if you could be the one to inform him of the potential transplant opportunity. How did he respond?"

Sakura frowned. "Actually, he seemed far less convinced than I thought he'd be. I… honestly don't know what he'll decide."

"The thing is, the Hyuuga's condition is deteriorating rapidly, and if he doesn't decide soon, I worry this opportunity will pass him by, and his sharingan will continue to do damage." Tsunade looked at Sakura, as though convinced she had seen something there that nobody else could. "I honestly don't know who else Kakashi might listen to. You seemed to have the perfect mix of medical authority and shared history. And he's never been the easiest man to get to know. Honestly, I can't think of another shinobi who could convince him. I suppose we'll just have to respect his decision, even if it is the wrong one."

The worst part was, Sakura felt Tsunade was right.

No matter how much Kakashi liked and respected his comrades, Sakura knew that no shinobi could convince Kakashi to accept the transplant. But she wondered if he might listen to a civilian instead…

It was an awful idea, and she hated herself for having it. Even if it worked, even if she could convince him through Umeko to accept the transplant, the breach of trust would mean she could never face him again, as either a shinobi or a civilian. She would put in a transfer to Sunagakure the next day, and beg Tsunade to approve it.

Even then, the plan hinged on Kakashi still caring about Umeko. If Sakura had gotten it wrong, and he cared for the imaginary woman no more than he had for any passing distraction, then he wouldn't be waiting for her at the bridge that night, and there would be no credible way Umeko could find him after that.

Sakura performed the henge with shaking hands. Glancing at her reflection in a darkened window, she stepped out from the alley and headed toward the bridge once more. With each step she took, she tried to kill a part of her conscience. This night wouldn't be like the others. She would have to play her part perfectly, if she wanted to save him from his own stubbornness. She had to be less like Haruno Sakura, whose advice Kakashi had ignored, and more like Umeko. Sakura realised she hated her civilian alter-ego. Ino had been right about not making her too beautiful; it only made her feel inferior, and had caused her nothing but grief from the start.

The bridge came into view, and Sakura's heart dropped when she saw the familiar shock of silver hair reflecting the moonlight. He had come after all, and she would have to abuse his trust in the worst way possible. Kakashi noticed her, and straightened. He almost looked as nervous as she felt, which surprised her.

"I wasn't sure you'd come," he said softly.

"I wasn't sure I should have come," she replied, "but things felt unfinished. It wasn't fair of me to leave things like that."

The copy-nin seemed hesitant, as though any sudden move might scare her off. "If it's okay, I'd like to take you for a walk somewhere."

Sakura tugged at the long dark hair of her henge, wanting nothing more than to run away while she still could. But she knew what she had to do.

"Ok."

They walked off the bridge and all the way to the village gate in silence; both of them seemed to be waiting for the right time to speak their mind. Kakashi led her through the gate, glancing at her to check she had no qualms walking off into the woods alone with him. She smiled back, though the smile felt like glass. She had a sneaking suspicion she knew where he was taking her, which was confirmed when they stepped out of the dark trees and into her own moonlit clearing.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Kakashi murmured.

Sakura didn't know what to say. He was showing her the same place she'd shown him; granted, he didn't know that, but it still felt bizarre. Not to mention, kind of hurtful that he'd taken her secret place and immediately shared it with someone else.

"It's lovely. How did you find this place?"

"Well, technically my old student told me about this place," he admitted, "just earlier today, in fact."

"Your student? Which one?"

"Haruno Sakura, the kunoichi."

"Ah. You didn't seem to talk about her much when we were with Naruto-kun the other night."

Kakashi seemed troubled. "At the time I didn't think there was much to say. To be honest, I wasn't a very good fit as her teacher."

Sakura frowned. "I'm sure that's not true."

"She's a great medic now, and stronger than any ninja I've ever met. But I didn't teach her any of that. I didn't have time to teach her much at all, not even about her chakra nature. My loss." Kakashi gazed up at the half-moon visible through the hole in the forest canopy.

Sakura had been dying to hear what he truly thought of her, not just the white lies he'd always said to her face. But now that she was hearing it, it felt like spying. She was touched that he seemed to genuinely regret neglecting her, but she couldn't bring herself to pry any further. In any case, she had to steer the conversation toward his operation.

"Speaking of loss, what's actually wrong with your eye? You mentioned you still had two, but you never said why it was covered up like that."

Kakashi, face still turned up toward the sky, slowly closed his visible eye. He seemed to be deciding something. When he opened it, he looked at her calmly.

"It's a special kind of eye: a bloodline limit. But it didn't originally belong to me so it can get injured quite easily. It got injured recently, pretty badly."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Is it healing alright?"

The copy-nin's hand went to the thick bandage around his eye, seemingly unthinkingly. "I was lucky; it got treated quite early, and now all it needs is rest."

Umeko probably wouldn't press the issue any further, especially when it was clear it took a lot for Kakashi to share like this. But Sakura needed to talk him into getting the transplant.

"Isn't there any way to stop it getting hurt like that? What if you can't get treated quickly next time?" she hoped her tone was one of ignorant concern, not the authoritative chastising she used on all her pig-headed patients, which Kakashi would therefore immediately associate with her.

It seemed to pass. "Apparently there's an operation that can make it less susceptible to injury." He began to stroll toward the pool of water at the centre of the clearing, obviously keen to change the subject.

Sakura hurried after him, determined not to let the opportunity pass. "And are you going to get it? The operation, I mean."

"I am," Kakashi replied, stopping Sakura before she launched into her speech about why he should get it.

"You are?"

Kakashi nodded. "Like I said, my former student is a medic. She told me it was best, and I trust her judgement."

Sakura felt the bizarre urge to burst into tears of happiness. She felt elated to know she had gotten through to him after all; and as herself, too.

"That's great, Kakashi! I'm sure that's the best course of action. There's probably a heap of different health benefits, and the Hokage is the best surgeon in the world. I mean, that's what everyone says. Obviously I've never seen her work, but I'm sure-"

Her sentence was cut short as Kakashi turned back to her, spinning on his heel so fast that Sakura almost walked straight into him. He put his hands on her shoulders to stop her, so that she only softly bumped his chest before ending up standing toe to toe.

The distance between them was so small that Sakura could see Kakashi's mask move with each breath he took. Her face felt like it was probably the same colour as her normal hair, and she suddenly had no idea where to put her hands. They ended up hovering awkwardly at her sides as Kakashi's stayed on her shoulders.

"Kakashi, I-"

"-Umeko, please, just for a moment, don't speak." His voice was low and calm, and her head swirled with a thousand thoughts.  _Is he going to kiss me? Am I just imagining things? If he does, should I stop him? Would I care if he kissed me as Umeko? Would_ he  _care if he kissed me as_ Sakura?

As he leaned in, her thoughts fizzled out into white noise. She had kissed one or two shinobi before, but the anticipation had never been a terrifying and exhilarating as it was in that moment.

Kakashi raised a hand to his face, and began to tug at the top of his mask. Sakura closed her eyes.

Suddenly, he pulled himself free and crouched, facing away from her toward the far end of the clearing. His body language was tense and alert, and after a moment, Sakura could hear why. There were soft footsteps, and even softer voices, heading toward them.

Her heart raced, this time with alarm. The footsteps were heading toward Konoha, and it was clear from their discreetness that they weren't allies. Kakashi held a hand up for Sakura to be silent, and Sakura remembered she was still Umeko in his eyes.

"Stay here. If I don't come back, wait until it's safe, then run to Konoha," Kakashi's voice was softer than a whisper, and he leaned in close to her ear so she could hear.

As awful as it was, she needed to come clean about being a civilian. If Kakashi was about to try to attack these people, she needed to back him up. He was still injured, and even if he were in peak physical condition as the Great Copy-nin, she could never again let him protect her as she watched on helplessly.

"Kakashi, there's something I have to tell you," she whispered back, urgently.

"There's no time. Just wait here," he cut her off before she could explain. "Just stay safe-"

A jet of steam blasted its way through the trees, catching them both by surprise. It seemed the invaders were better than expected. Kakashi grabbed Sakura and span so that his body blocked her from the worst of the blast. Sakura dug her heels into the grass to stop them being knocked off balance, but before they could move any more than that, another blast, this time of mud, slammed into Sakura's back and sent them both flying. Kakashi slammed into a tree and Sakura slammed into him.

She leapt to her feet, as three men entered the clearing. It was the same three thugs who she had stumbled upon the first night she'd pretended to be Umeko. She remembered that the shortest one, who was now strolling in from the left, was their leader.

Though the impact with the tree had clearly knocked the wind out of Kakashi, he didn't hesitate before jumping between Sakura and the men. She realised her henge was still in place, and Kakashi was still trying to protect her.

"Ni," The leader, Ichi, called to one of his comrades. She remembered suspecting they were named based on numbers, and it seemed she had been right. Grinning, Ni stepped forward. When she had seen him down the dark alleyway that night, she had thought he was simply bald. Now, in the light of the moon, she could clearly see the rippled red burn that covered the top of his head and made it impossible for any hair to grow. Combined with his grin, he seemed demonic.

"Is that the mouse we trapped the other night?" he cackled, and Kakashi shifted to put himself directly between Sakura and Ni.

Before she could step out to stand beside him, an ear-splitting crack came from their right and San, the third man, sent a boulder the size of a horse flying into Kakashi. He tried to perform a seal, but without the sharingan he wasn't fast enough. Sakura tried to deflect the boulder with a well-timed strike, but she wasn't close enough. She realised that had been their plan, to distract the pair with Ni, leaving them vulnerable to San's attack.

Kakashi hit the ground at Ichi's feet, and though he had landed on all fours, like a cat, the force of the boulder left him momentarily stunned. Ichi performed a quick seal, and grabbed Kakashi by the scruff of the neck before he could pull himself up. Kakashi went limp under the short man's grip, and Sakura's heart leapt into her throat. What was the man doing to him?

Ichi looked at Sakura, amused by her terror. She forced herself to meet his eye. When she did, a sudden clarity of perception ran through her like a jolt of electricity. Her pulse quickened with that awful bloodlust she had struggled with ever since touching Kakashi's chakra. There was an inexplicable hatred directed at this man, but instead of clouding her senses, it woke them up. The heights of all the men, even certain features, were the same as Kenta, her mother's lodger, and his two companions. Ino's advice about creating a henge had said to keep some things the same as your real body, so it was easier to replicate each time. These three had already infiltrated Konoha, and to add insult to injury, were using her mother's restaurant as their base of operations.

Ichi shook Kakashi, who yelped in pain. Sakura gritted her teeth and focused on maintaining her own henge. The men still saw her as a helpless civilian girl, which would actually work in her favour now. She took a hesitant step, seemingly unsure of what to do or where to go now that she was cornered.

"Run, Umeko," Kakashi wheezed urgently. It was clear he was afraid for her.

"P-please, don't hurt me," she whimpered, stumbling closer to the pool of water as the three men lazily closed in around her. Ichi dragged Kakashi like a ragdoll.

"I'm afraid we can't promise that, little mouse," Ichi told her, and the other two laughed sadistically. They were about five paces from her now, and she was right at the edge of the pool. It seemed they had her trapped between it and freedom. With her hands hidden behind her back, she channelled that taint of sharingan chakra that had lurked at the corners of her mind for so long. She felt confident, almost assured, that this time everything would work out exactly as she decided it should.

"Well then," she replied, hands performing unseen seals as she faced them down, "I can't promise it, either. Water Dragon Bullet!"

And this time the water rose, serpentine, over her head, a perfect glaring specimen of a water jutsu. It crashed down, hitting Ni with the full impact of a wall of water, and toppling San with its strong currents. Ichi dropped his hold on Kakashi and leapt away as it circled around to him. Sakura struggled to control the water beast, but managed to keep it away from where Kakashi lay. The beast snapped its jaws and emitted a roar like the sound of a waterfall. Ichi sprinted off, leaving San to hoist Ni's limp body onto his back and follow.

The water jutsu dissolved into a muddy puddle the instant they disappeared, leaving she and Kakashi soaked. She staggered from the sudden drain on her chakra reserves, but found she had fared surprisingly well. She had even managed to keep her henge up whilst fighting, and continued to use it now.

Kakashi's expression revealed his shock, and even betrayal, at the revelation that Umeko was not as she seemed. "How did-  _who_  are you?" Kakashi finally managed, picking himself up at staring at her.

"It's not important," Sakura shook her head. She couldn't bring herself to hurt him further by revealing who she was now.

"Not important? You said you were a civilian! Who are you really? Are you even from Konoha?"

"Yes, I'm from Konoha. And yes, I'm a kunoichi. I'm sorry I didn't tell you; it was never my intention to deceive anyone by disguising myself like this. But now, we have to focus on the more important issue of warning the Hokage about those people. Can you walk?"

She stepped toward him, but he jerked away from her. "Of course I can," he snapped, and the emotions that charged his voice shocked her. He didn't expect her to be his usual apathetic self about such a thing, but she had never seen Kakashi truly angry before.

Kakashi sprinted off at a ninja's pace through the trees, and after a moment Sakura followed. She kept up with him, leaping off branches and through the village gates just as blindingly fast as any shinobi. It must have been shocking for Kakashi to see Umeko doing such things, but he seemed to be goading her into showing her true ability. It was as though he wanted to keep reminding them both that the pretence was over.

As they reached a quiet street near Hokage tower, Kakashi stopped. It was so sudden that Sakura had to skid to an undignified halt to avoid overshooting him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Who are you?" Kakashi's tone was serious.

"Honestly, it's not worth telling you. I'm so sorry I ended up lying to you, but it will only make it harder if you know who I really am."

"I deserve to know!" Kakashi took a step forward, but Sakura did not flinch. She felt no fear of him, only pity and guilt.

"Kakashi," she looked into his one visible eye, "After tonight, I promise you, once and for all, Umeko will cease to exist. I know that doesn't erase any feelings you might have had for her, and I'm so, so sorry things happened the way they did. For what it's worth, my feelings for you weren't a lie."

"Then why can't you tell me who you really are?" he asked her, and his voice was almost pleading.

Sakura felt the tears run down her face before she even realised she was crying. "Because you don't see the real me the way you see Umeko." She turned away from him, scrubbing futilely at her cheeks. "I'm going to leave now. You can warn the Hokage alone, and I'll report later."

"Wait!" Kakashi called out to her, and she glanced back. Kakashi was tugging furiously at the bandages around his eye, unwinding it as he walked toward her.

"Stop, don't!" Sakura shouted, as the last pad of gauze fell from his face and exposed his left eye. Before she could stop him, he opened it, and the red sharingan focused on her.

She cringed under its gaze. She knew he was trying to scan her, to see under her henge at her true chakra signature. But it was still so weak. He could see his brow furrowed in pain as he tried to control his eye. She stepped forward.

"Kakashi, you need to let it rest. Please, you're going to hurt yourself." She wanted to scream at him. Was he really doing something so reckless, just to uncover her secret?

Kakashi muttered something indistinguishable in response, and Sakura's medic instincts warned her in time to rush forward and grab his shoulders as he collapsed. His unconscious body leaning against hers like some awful mockery of their almost-kiss, Sakura fought to get her emotions under control. Concentrating on dissipating her henge for the last time, she allowed Umeko's beautiful body to flicker and die, to be replaced by Sakura's strong arms and short hair. Right now, Kakashi needed a medic, not a civilian. Silently thanking Tsunade for granting her strength, she hoisted up Kakashi as gently as she could, and raced for the hospital.


	10. Aftermath

"And then you arrived, and you know everything that happened after that."

Sakura exhaled slowly, her story finished. Tsunade looked at her with an unreadable expression. The explanation had taken a long time, on top of a very long operation. The Hyuuga had died in the night, and Kakashi had been rushed straight to the operating room after Sakura arrived with him. Tsunade had been summoned immediately, and then things had all happened very fast. Sakura had warned her about the three infiltrators, as well as her conviction that they were using  _henge no jutsu_  to keep their civilian personas and their enemy-nin identities separate. As several more people had been instructed to investigate this new threat, Tsunade had worked on Kakashi's transplant. Sakura had waited outside; Tsunade had decided that she and Shizune could handle it after all. The pink-haired kunoichi suspected her mentor might be punishing her, or perhaps even being merciful, by leaving her out.

After a few hours, Tsunade and the others shuffled out and informed her it was an overwhelming success. Kakashi would remain heavily sedated for several days, just to make sure the chakra vessel had time to rest, but would soon be better than ever. Then Tsunade had summoned Sakura to her office, and she had broken down and explained all the events leading up to dragging Kakashi into the ER. It felt oddly cathartic to admit all of her guilty actions and even guiltier feelings over the past couple of days, and to her credit, Tsunade never interrupted her.

"Well," Tsunade finally spoke, "What do you plan to do now?"

Sakura knew what her answer was. "First, I'm going to help free my mother's restaurant, and then I'm going to transfer to Sunagakure."

Kakashi's dreams were peaceful and indistinct, as he lay recovering in his hospital bed. Blurry splotches of colour danced before his eyes, pale forest greens and beautiful cherry blossom pinks. The sedatives finally eased enough that he could wake, and even though the antiseptic smell of the hospital was the first thing to reach his senses, he did not panic. He could feel the bandage over his sharingan, but his other eye was mercifully free and he settled for using it. Slowly, he cracked the lid and allowed his eye to adjust to the light. By the time his eye was fully open and able to take in his surroundings, the Hokage had entered his room and sat waiting patiently beside him.

"Hospital?" he asked groggily, and Tsunade nodded.

"Do you remember why you're here?"

Kakashi paused, letting his memories slowly return to him, like pigeons coming to roost. "Operation," he finally replied.

"That's right," Tsunade said, "and you'll be pleased to know it was very successful. As long as you rest for a while, and I mean actually  _rest,_ your sharingan shouldn't trouble you any longer."

Kakashi processed this information, waiting patiently for his brain to start working at full capacity. There was a thought he had, hidden inside the cotton wool filling his head. It felt important.

"Umeko," he finally managed, "Umeko. You know who she is, don't you?"

To his surprise, Tsunade reached out and placed her hand on his arm. "She's nobody."

Kakashi frowned. "She isn't nobody. She's a- shinobi. She has to be  _somebody."_

Tsunade shook her head. "No, Kakashi. Somebody was  _her,_ but they aren't anymore. They're just themselves again, like they've always been."

"So who are they?"

"They didn't want you to know, and I respect their decision."

Kakashi remained unsatisfied. "Then what am I supposed to do now?"

Tsunade stood up, brushing non-existent lint from the front of her jacket.

"If you were inclined to ask my advice, it would probably go something like this: if you can't let go of the idea of Umeko, you'll never be able to find the woman she really is. If you start to see the qualities you liked about Umeko in another person, perhaps that's her. And if you can't, even when that person is standing right in front of you, then you wouldn't appreciate her anyway."

Sakura had felt stifled in her mask.

It wasn't a true ANBU mask, just a blank white face to protect her identity during the raid. She had been selected (partly because she knew the most about the enemy, partly because she had begged) to lead an ambush on Ichi and the others as they laid low at The Blossom. They hadn't realised Sakura had figured out their alter-egos that night, and so they had returned as Kenta and his cronies the very next evening. Ambushing them had been a simple affair, and though The Blossom had sustained a tolerable amount of damage in the fight, Haruno Takara was just happy to be free of her lodger.

Sakura sat up at the bar as her mother poured tea for her and the clean-up crew. She fiddled with her mask, whose blank face stared up at her from the benchtop. She had removed it almost the second the enemy had been dealt with, and had no intention of putting it back on. She didn't know how Kakashi could stand having his face covered like that all the time. Thinking of Kakashi made her heart hurt, so she looked to her mother to distract her.

Haruno Takara seemed to read her daughter's mind, and leaned over to place a cup of tea beside the mask.

"Did I mention how grateful I am to have my strong, beautiful daughter come save me in my hour of need?"

"Several times. In front of the whole team..."

Her mother chuckled. "A mother has the right to be proud of her children. It was always my biggest regret after becoming a civilian that I'd probably never get to see you as you are."

Sakura frowned. "As I am? I know I haven't visited as often as I should, but we do still see each other."

Takara stroked the blank mask with an idle finger. "I see you when you're off-duty. And of course I saw you all the time when you were still training. But this," she gestured to Sakura, taking in her dirty flak jacket and forehead protector, "This is who you're supposed to be _."_

Sakura jerked a thumb over her shoulder to the mural on the wall. "I thought  _that_ was who I was supposed to be."

"And why can't you be both? I know you hate that painting, but I don't think you've let yourself properly acknowledge your beauty. Not since you first graduated from the academy. But it's still there, you know. You're still everything that woman on the wall represents."

After a pause, Sakura placed her hand over her mother's and gave it a squeeze.

"It'll be even harder for me to visit when I'm in Sunagakure."

"That will just make your return even more exciting."

Sakura released her mother's hand, her expression suddenly morose. "I don't plan on coming back for quite a while, though." She hadn't told her mother the exact reason she was leaving the country, and to her mother's credit she hadn't asked.

Takara flapped her hands dismissively, before briefly turning away to swipe at her teary cheeks.

"But just think of all the fascinating new people you'll meet in the meantime!" she beamed. "And you know, if you do find yourself wanting to come home, your old bedroom has just recently become vacant."

Kakashi had waited patiently in his hospital room for the entire duration of his recovery. Sneaking out at night now seemed a foolhardy idea that only led to trouble. When he had finally received the all-clear and been released, he felt like a prisoner that had been away from the real world too long to feel comfortable in it. He didn't know what to do with his time, or where he could go that didn't remind him of her. Battle and bloodshed could usually be pushed from the front of his mind when he was home, far away from the nameless places where they had happened. But Umeko seemed all around him; the bridge, the clearing, even places he often visited like Ichiraku ramen, were now haunted by his imaginary friend.

That was what she felt like; a person who had never really existed outside his perception of her. And yet, Tsunade's words had reminded him that even though Umeko wasn't real, somebody out there was. Somebody had talked to him, shared with him, and made him feel something for them. The problem was, he couldn't know if those feelings were real, or also imaginary.

After a while, the restlessness was too much, and he felt that it would be best to simply face it head-on. It would be cathartic, he decided, to retrace his steps and go to The Blossom for the second and last time in his life.

There was a different atmosphere from the last time he had been there. Apparently the enemy nin who'd attacked he and Umeko had been traced back to that restaurant and then flushed out. Hence, both the patrons and Takara, the owner, seemed to have been given new life.

Takara greeted him warmly when he arrived, and waved him over to sit at the bar. This was sufficiently different from the 'private corner' he had been ushered into when she had thought he was on a date, and so he accepted gratefully.

"What can I get you, dear?" She asked.

'Pork buns," he replied without thinking.

She winked. "They're the best in Konoha, you know. Once you've had a taste, you never forget it."

Kakashi tried to keep his expression neutral as she disappeared through the side door to the kitchen. After a few minutes she returned with a heaping tray of steaming buns and sat it before him.

He thanked her, picking up his chopsticks and prodding one half-heartedly. His appetite seemed suddenly diminished.

Takara, the perfect bartender, sensed his mood and gently probed him for more information that she might gossip about later. "Something on your mind? I notice you don't have that pretty girl with you this time…"

It would be too rude to get up and walk away, so he continued to play absentmindedly with his food, avoiding her eye.

"Would it be too much of a cliché to say 'it's complicated'?"

Takara laughed. "There's a lot of that going around I fear. Complications, I mean. Being a bartender, I see a lot of long faces like yours. But you know the old saying: if you love something, set it free."

Kakashi remained silent.

"…and if it comes back to you then great, and if not then it probably wasn't meant to be. Or something like that. Hey, my daughter does that."

Kakashi looked up. "Does what?"

She pointed at the pork bun he had turned inside out and refilled. "That thing with the buns. She said it makes them taste better."

The silver-haired jounin stared at the woman. Every noise in the restaurant became little more than buzzing in his ears.

"Your daughter…?"

Takara smiled indulgently and pointed over his shoulder. Turning, he saw the mural on the far wall, of a beautiful young woman with familiar cherry pink hair.


	11. Epilogue

Sakura was out collecting medicinal roots when she got the summons. Elbow-deep in muddy sand, she threw what she had collected so far into a bucket and headed back to the village. The woman sent to fetch her had said the Kazekage wished to see her in his office as soon as possible. Nevertheless, the medical unit was waiting on the roots, and she didn't see a problem with keeping Gaara waiting a few more minutes.

Since transferring to Sunagakure, Gaara and his siblings had checked up on her roughly once a week, making sure she was settling in ok, and gently (but not particularly subtly) asking about why she had requested a short-notice transfer there. She knew it was nothing more than concern for an old friend, but each week it became harder and harder to feign innocence. Each week away from Konoha got harder and harder for several reasons…

"What are you doing here?" her medical supervisor, Kayo, asked the moment she stepped through the door to the medical facility. Sakura raised the muddy bucket by way of reply.

Kayo bustled over and took the bucket. "Forget those, didn't someone tell you you've been summoned by the Kazekage?"

Sakura shrugged. "It'll just be a social thing, Gaara doesn't mind if I'm la-"

"It is  _not_ a 'social thing.' There's a messenger for you. From Konoha."

Sakura blinked. "A messenger. For me?"  _What on earth could they possibly want?_

Kayo rolled her eyes. "Well if you stop standing here and get a move-on, you might actually find out!" She started pushing Sakura back out the door.

"Wait, can't I wash my hands firs-"

"-Out!"

Five minutes later, Sakura was half-jogging along the corridor to the Kazekage's office. She probably looked ridiculous, covered in mud and panting from the run, but Kayo's insistence had spurred her on, so that she hadn't so much as stopped to catch her breath. As she drew level with the door, she heard a laugh from inside, which abruptly cut off as she knocked. She noticed with some chagrin that her knuckles left a muddy streak on the wood.

The door opened, and Kankuro took one look at her and snorted. "What  _have_ you been doing?"

Sakura bristled. "My job. But I was summoned and so here I am." Kankuro stood aside as she strode into the room, though she could tell he was making some kind of face behind her back.

Gaara sat behind his desk, and though his face seemed as impassive as usual, Sakura had known him long enough to sense that he too, was amused by something. His hat sat on his desk instead of his head, and his body slouched comfortably in the direction of the third person in the room. This man had glasses and close-cropped auburn hair. Sakura didn't recognise him, but by his clothing guessed him to be the messenger from home.

"Ah, Sakura-san," Gaara stood up as she approached, "you've finally arrived." To his credit, his eyes didn't linger on her dirt-crusted arms. "We've been chatting with your visitor in the meantime." He gestured to the man with the glasses, who bowed humbly. His eyes  _did_  linger on her arms, and Sakura thought she detected the ghost of a smile as he straightened. She nodded back at him with as much dignity as she could muster.

"This is Shinji," Gaara continued, "and he says he has a message for you from Hatake Kakashi."

Sakura stopped cold. She could already feel the blush burning across her face at the mention of his name, but forced her features to remain impassive.

"Very well," she said, reaching out for Shinji to hand her the scroll.

Shinji looked apologetic. "It's a verbal message. He asked me to give it to you in person."

Gaara smiled one of his enigmatic smiles. "Kankuro and I will take our leave to give you some privacy." At that, he and the puppet master left, and Sakura gave a tiny sigh of relief. Hearing Kakashi's message was no-doubt going to be painful in the extreme, but at least she wouldn't have to bear the shame of having her friends know its contents.

Shinji waited expectantly. It occurred to Sakura, as she stood facing the messenger, just how tall he was. He was actually the first person from Konoha that she had seen since leaving, and the sight of him, even though he was a stranger, gave her a tiny pang of homesickness. After a moment, she turned away from him. She didn't want this man to see her pain up close.

"Alright," she finally said, mentally preparing herself for Kakashi's anger and blame, "Let's have it, then."

"Sakura," Shinji began, reciting the words Kakashi must have told him, "I needed to talk to you, but wasn't sure I could do it properly in person. You know me; I'm good at avoiding things, and people, that I shouldn't."

Sakura could imagine Kakashi, awkwardly reciting this message for Shinji to repeat. He probably hadn't been able to look the man in the eye, either.

"…but I can't avoid you any longer. I wanted to apologise, firstly, for the way I neglected you for years. I feel that you must know I never meant to hurt you. I know how weak that sounds, but I promise you, no matter what you might believe, I do think you are a phenomenal ninja and a truly amazing person."

Staring intently at the window across the room, Sakura raised her eyebrows in surprise. So far, this wasn't what she had been expecting.

"…you should also know, I know it was you. I know Umeko was you."

She squeezed her eyes shut.  _Here it comes…_

"…I didn't know it was you at the time. I found out only recently, actually. But I should have known. I should have realised that the reason I felt so comfortable and happy around Umeko, is because I've known her for years. I wanted to get to know her better because I wanted to get to know  _you_ better. It was  _your_ beauty, not Umeko's, that made me want to kiss you that night."

Sakura's eyes flew open in shock, and she turned to face the messenger.

"Did he say anything el-"

Shinji had disappeared, and the man now standing before her, the man who it had always been, was Kakashi. He wore his usual flak jacket and mask; even his head was free of bandages, his sharingan covered by with nothing but his usual forehead protector.

As she gaped at him, Kakashi cocked his head to one side in a smile. "Good to see you, Sakura."

Her mouth worked to form words. Her head was buzzing and her heart felt like a music box that had been wound too tightly. Everything was equal parts pain and bliss.

"Kakashi. What are you doing here?" she finally managed to get out.

The silver-haired jounin raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. "I'm here to deliver a message, of course. Which, by the way, I haven't finished."

Sakura nodded once, then stiffly gestured for him to continue. She felt an absurd compulsion to burst into tears, and fought it fiercely.

Kakashi continued. "I wanted to thank you for saving me that night, in the clearing. And for our last mission together, when you saved me  _and_  the sharingan. I didn't realise at the time, the great personal pain it caused you when your chakra got affected by mine. I'm sorry you had to share some of my burden."

"I'm not," Sakura whispered, and meant it. She found herself staring at the floor rather than looking into his one visible eye.

A hand reached out to cup her chin, gently raising it until she had no choice but to look at him properly. He was so close to her, just like that night before they kissed. She remembered the feel of his hands on her shoulders, her desire to touch him. She suddenly felt hyper-aware of the mud on her hands.

"Sakura," Kakashi breathed her name, quiet as a prayer.

Her name. She was Sakura, and he was Kakashi, and as he tugged his mask down, she didn't look away.

Their lips fit perfectly.


End file.
